Where are the men who are doing well?

Since January, nine murders of women have made headlines in Quebec. We would like to hear men speak publicly about this scourge. However, those we hear the most are masculinist influencers who often convey reactionary and toxic discourse. Where are the men who are doing well? Who doesn’t feel threatened by strong, independent women? Who see the couple as a partnership rather than a power struggle? Who is not afraid to express their emotions? I wanted to discuss it with Sarah-Maude Beauchesne and Nicola Morel, co-authors of the series Beautiful flowerwhich will be released in mid-May on the Crave platform, and which talks about friendship and positive masculinity.

Archaic and VERY stereotypical male role models.

This is what Sarah-Maude Beauchesne and Nicola Morel observed while watching TV series during the pandemic.

“I had difficulty finding myself in the models I saw,” says Nicola Morel. Where are the guys in my circle of friends with whom I have great conversations? Guys who are good fathers and try to do the best they can? »

“We wondered where the men who inspire us every day were,” adds Sarah-Maude Beauchesne. What we saw was really not inspiring. »

It is from this observation that the couple decided to write a series featuring male characters who are more similar to those they encounter on a daily basis. By saying that fiction could be a wonderful vehicle for putting forward a positive discourse on masculinity.

One-dimensional models

“The men of Beautiful flower are not perfect, but they are not imaginary either, insists Sarah-Maude, who plays a role in the series. They exist in real life. »

“They’re not overwhelmed when they have to make dinner or do laundry,” adds Nicola. In series, men are often caricatures. They are shown with smoke coming out of their ears because they have to cook spaghetti or take care of the children. It seems like we’re telling the same story all the time: it’s either a pink man, an alpha male, or a superhero. There are very few choices to build yourself as a man in our society. »

After decades of feminism and several generations of men raised by feminist women, the couple is sad that men still have so little access to their emotions. However, this inability to express what they feel is precisely one of the sources of violence.

“My lexical field of emotion is infinite,” says Sarah-Maude who published the story Romance last year. If I experience a situation where I don’t feel good, I know exactly what to name it. »

“I don’t have the same toolbox,” admits Nicola, producer at Trio Orange for around ten years. It takes me an hour to name the emotion I feel because it’s all mixed up in my head. »

“For a long time,” he continues, “the only emotion that was valued in men was anger. Are you stressed? You are sad ? Are you going through a difficult relationship situation? Are you mad… “

Rightly, Sarah-Maude Beauchesne regrets that the main source of emotional support is the couple. Which explains why when the couple breaks down, everything collapses.

“I think men need to learn to open up to their friends to find support, to be able to name things,” she says.

Expressing yourself in public poses other problems, according to the author. Which could explain, according to him, the sometimes deafening silence of men on issues of violence, for example. “There is the fear of men speaking in place of women on subjects that primarily concern them,” he explains.

Do useful work

The author couple hopes their series pushes men out of their comfort zone.

“The model proposed by masculinists is comforting,” recognizes Sarah-Maude. We can’t completely blame them because we built this model in society and it existed for a very long time. »

With Beautiful flower, there is a desire to offer nuanced male models. The author couple does not hide their desire to educate and raise awareness. Yes, it’s fiction. But it’s also a statement, like almost all of Sarah-Maude Beauchesne’s projects. “ Beautiful flower, it is in a way an invitation to dialogue in a context where dialogue is almost impossible between diametrically opposed visions of masculinity, explains the author. Instead of getting stuck on social media and escalating things, why not try poetry and beauty? This is the only effective way I see at the moment. »

Read “ Beautiful flower : place for “positive masculinity”

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