Empty storage background: single mother of two overcomes hurdle to ask for help for the holiday season

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Sometimes it is not easy to ask for help. Especially if you’ve always considered yourself a donor rather than a recipient.

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“I have always given to toy donations wherever I have lived,” said Kristen Kolenski. “I never needed help until last year.”

In 2020, the Langley resident became a single mother when she and her husband separated. She moved out of her home with her two children, a six-year-old boy and an eight-year-old girl.

“Between the pandemic, attorney’s fees and high rent costs, I was struggling to put food on the table, let alone buy Christmas presents,” Kolenski said. “And then a friend told me I should contact the Langley Christmas Office.”

The office is among dozens of charities that receive funding from the province’s Empty Stock Fund. The fund is made possible by donations from the province’s readers to help others enjoy the holiday season.

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Kolenski was able to collect two gift cards, one for each child and one card for the purchase. “When I picked up the cards, it was an immediate relief to know that I could buy the children Christmas dinner and that I could get some presents under the Christmas tree.”

Getting the cards was easy, he says, once he got over the psychological hurdle of applying.

“It was the hardest thing to send the email asking for help,” he said. “And then having to go there and see people, it was very difficult to deal with. But everyone present was very understanding. There was no trial. I walked in and didn’t feel embarrassed. They made it so easy and comfortable. “

She was so relieved the first time she picked up the gift cards, she says, that she cried in her car “for about two hours” immediately afterward.

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“Fortunately I did not have my children with me. I don’t think they need to know that I’m fighting. “

Before last Christmas, Kolenski says his family “had always been lucky enough to be blessed enough” to spoil the children.

“They are used to having a lot of gifts under the tree. And we would have family home for Christmas. Now it is much more complicated. We will have no family because half of my family does not live here. My parents are five hours away and they can’t get there because the roads are closed. We’re just going to have a relaxed and enjoyable Christmas this year. “

But that doesn’t mean kids won’t get what they want: a sewing machine for her and a Super Mario game for him.

“I know it’s not just about the gifts, but when you’re a kid, it really is,” Kolenski said with a laugh. “And I know that one side of the family is going to spoil them more than I could. So there is the fear that they are in that house more than they want to be in my house. There are many things involved in it. So knowing that I can get them something that they really want means a lot to me. “

For anyone else struggling this holiday season, she has a simple message.

“If you ever find out that you need help, don’t be embarrassed to ask. It is difficult, but it gets easier. And there are many people who want to help. So take that step and just ask. “