Daphne Bramham: Diamond Isinger should be applauded for refusing to be a victim

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Women have been silenced for millennia, sometimes forced to remain in private spaces or cover themselves with a veil in public so that they are not seen.

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Slowly, that is changing. Yet even here, it remains front-page news that Calgary’s new mayor and Manitoba’s new prime minister are women. They are the first and it is puzzling how places have yet to make those advances.

But the worrying thing is that so many qualified and competent women simply refuse to put themselves in harm’s way. They know very well that they run the risk of being the target of highly sexualized attacks carried out in person or in public, but more frequently on social media.

However, when women stick their heads above the parapet, they achieve a certain measure of power or position and it happens to them, at least they usually rate a story.

Most women and girls don’t. Too often, they are told to just hang on. When told, too often they are not believed.

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That is the harsh reality that prompted the first Women’s March in 2017, led to the #MeToo movement and a parade of resignations. So far, not much has changed. The growing number of high-ranking officials in the Canadian Armed Forces charged or under investigation for forms of sexual misconduct is part of that evidence.

Before this weekend, I had never heard of Diamond Isinger. She probably should have done it because she is an impressive young woman.

Still, it came as a little surprise to me or probably most women when they heard or read about what supposedly happened Friday night when Isinger, the campaign manager for BC Liberal leadership candidate Michael Lee, found himself with four men from competitor Kevin Falcon. campaign in downtown Vancouver.

In a statement posted on social media on Sunday, Isinger alleged that things quickly turned ugly with vile and sexualized obscenities yelling at him.

Islinger said that for more than 15 minutes, one of the four brandished words like swords while the other almost always stayed on the sidelines. Islinger claims the man called her a “bitch bitch”, “bitch bitch”, “bitch bitch” and made a bad-toned “joke”.

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He apparently tried to insist that she shake his hand to reconcile. Islinger said that when she refused, he became enraged and accused her of ruining their night even though when they left, it was Isinger who was crying.

Maybe the cowards got what they wanted that night. But it was a Pyrrhic victory that could cost your candidate leadership.

Isinger did what many women and girls, especially those who were not recently named rising stars by BC Business or who do not have several thousand influential followers on social media, almost never can. She refused to be a victim.

Instead, Isinger acted kindly and offered to fix it privately. When she got no response, she didn’t give them the boys-will-boys pass that women are still urged to do frequently.

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She fought back in the only way that seems to work these days. He posted on Twitter, embarrassing them for their disgusting behavior without naming them.

It was not the first time. Eight years ago, Isinger launched a Madam Premier blog on Tumblr documenting vulgar and sexist comments directed at early women after spending time as an online strategy consultant for BC Liberals and Vision Vancouver.

One of his blog posts was about billionaire Richard Branson’s strange invitation to Christy Clark to kitesurf naked with him.

Clark was one of the first four women at the time. Eight years later, it was down to one until Heather Stefanson won the leadership of the Progressive Conservative Party in Manitoba over the weekend.

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Since Madam Premier’s blog, Isinger has served as a special assistant to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and has served as public affairs manager for both the BC Forest Industries Council and the BC Trial Lawyers Association.

Perhaps most important in the context of this incident is that Isinger is the commissioner for Girl Guides of Canada in British Columbia, whose goal is to empower girls. The motto of the guides is to be prepared.

But how do you prepare girls for what awaits them online or in real life when even women are fighting? How do you prepare them for a Friday night outing like Isinger’s that ends in tears of frustration and public humiliation? How do you prepare for something much worse when the Canadian reality is that one in three women experiences sexual violence in her lifetime without arousing fear?

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Statistics Canada reported in 2019 that 32 percent of women have experienced unwanted sexual behavior in public. Harassment is part of it.

Leading by example is a starting point.

Isinger and many other women and girls have and continue to do so, denouncing the bad guys on social media, in court and demanding an end to this silencing, intimidation and coercion of half the population.

By contrast, Falcon, a married father of two girls, initially did nothing. He and his team did not respond to Isinger’s request to drive it quietly.

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It took several hours after Isinger’s fiery post before Falcón tweeted that he was “deeply concerned” and would get a lawyer to investigate. In the meantime, he had blocked at least one person demanding that Falcon apologize.

It was Monday morning when he apologized in a statement on social media and shot the largemouth.

Substantial change requires leadership at all levels.

Women who have an equal or majority stake in the most important houses, the legislature and parliament, or in the corridors of power on Main Streets, Howe Streets and Bloor Streets may be needed before things change.

But you probably need more than that. Maybe that change will happen sooner if we all assume some leadership responsibility.

We could start by facing off against misogynists who seem to believe that it is okay to degrade and harass girls and women.

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Twitter: @bramham_daphne