1. Look at menstruating people
Any eye contact with members of the female sex (menstruating people in 2030) will be considered an insult, as if they were all the emperor Haile Selassie. The right thing to do is to fake kyphosis and walk counting the gum on the tiles, with your gaze fixed on the asphalt. We will recognize each other by the ankles.
2. Biological sex
Children will be surgically reassigned to the opposite sex to their biological sex as soon as they are born. Just in case.
3. The heterosexual white male dance
Ethyl, atavistic and generating a hypnotic cosmic horror. It will carry a jail sentence if the dancer wears a suit and tie. In general, any spontaneous behavior by a white, heterosexual, and male person that demonstrates happiness or comfort with their role on planet Earth will be considered a hate crime.
I do not get tired of seeing him pic.twitter.com/qMznwv8Je1
– Gonzalo Altozano (@GonzaloAltozano) June 29, 2021
4. The meat
What am I going to tell you.
5. Monogamy
The government will force citizens to change satysfier every three months to avoid falling romantically in love with it and ending up in a monogamous relationship with the pot.
6. Romantic love
It is only allowed if your recipient is the party leader.
7. The hortojrafia
Ssera con siderada helitista. the Spaniards, Haprenderemo ha hescrivir kon; missing d hortojrafia. for hesKibar to the jramatikal police.
8. Traveling outside of your hometown
The Basques and the Catalans have done well, at least from a strictly financial point of view, not leaving their people mentally. So why not make the beret, inbreeding and cantonalism mandatory until all Spaniards end up speaking in a bucephalous language with only three consonants and more appropriate for invoking Satan than for communicating with others?
9. Speak clearly
Straight, short and clear language will be prohibited at the proposal of the Sanhedrin of rectors of Spanish public universities. Universities where no one with an IQ over 50 will enter, nor will anyone who has passed one or more subjects. The Government will determine the frequency with which certain terms considered to be of national interest (resilience, dialogue, tolerance, inclusiveness, diversity) must appear in the media. “Out of every hundred words, one must be monitoring; out of every two hundred, one must be transversality; out of three hundred, one must be mood“.
10. The cinema
Films can only be shot starring actors belonging to an oppressed minority representing less than 0.000018% of the population and as long as that actor acts himself. The representation of the lives of others will be considered cultural appropriationism because all people will be considered a culture in ourselves.
11. Carnal sex
Sex between human beings without the permission of the party will be strictly prohibited. The rest will be regulated by a government ration card that only party members will have. Totally prohibited if you are white heterosexual. In the case of the rest of races and sexual orientations, the provisions of the card will be followed. Coupons will fetch astronomical prices on the black market. An hour with the neighbor’s satisfyer will be paid at the market at the price of unicorn sirloin.
12. Alcohol
It is heteropatriarchal, it disinhibits men (especially yours) already Irene Montero he doesn’t like it for both reasons. Forbidden.
13. Tourism
The worst possible sin, except for the members of the party, who will continue to travel to Cuba at expenses and other things paid for. In any case, in 2030 all countries will look the same (Cuba), so why would you want to travel?
14. Porn
Probably the only thing they agree on Carmen Calvo and Irene Montero. Not forbidden: the following.
15. Sugar
It will be like pepper for the Europeans of the second century BC. C. A luxury for kings. Rather, for (you know) party members.
16. The vote
A Google algorithm will determine which party you are willing to vote for based on your browsing history. Coincidentally, that party will always be the same progressive, resilient and sustainable party. Unless you’re from Murcia. In that case, that match will be Vox. Because all of Eurasia needs its Oceania.
17. Cows
In Galicia, the Miss Vaca Fermosa contest will do it with raccoons. They have the advantage that they do not produce as much methane and that they are not suitable for human consumption.
18. Humor
Let’s be specific: the humor that does not laugh at the right wing, the Catholics, the monarchy, the Jews or the victims of terrorism. The rest will be admissible, but only in the terms agreed by the party.
19. Thinking things through
The Government will grant a maximum margin of 7 seconds to all citizens to make important decisions for their lives. Abort? One second. “Pim, pam, decide, the offer expires.” Euthanasia? Two seconds. “Come on, we don’t have all day, the one with the syringe has left for a few beers with his colleagues.” Divorce you? Four seconds “Give it, give it, do you want custody or don’t you want custody?” Change sex? Seven seconds if you are under twelve years old. Five if you are between twelve and fourteen. Three if you are between fourteen and sixteen.
20. Democracy
By 2030, all the urns will have been recycled as fish tanks. When Isabel Diaz Ayuso demand free elections from her cell in the prison that they will have built on the foundations of Zendal, they will accuse her of opening the doors to fascism.
21. Speak in the official language of your country
The Government will make it a compulsory language, both in the Administration and in the private sphere, the least spoken in the region. Even more so if it is a dead language that not even the goatherds speak anymore. In other words, as now in Catalonia and the Basque Country.
22. Beauty
A bourgeois vice of boomers. The ugliness will be the official religion of the State. Galician urbanism will be canon even in gastronomy and crochet schools.
23. The family
And, in general, everything Ana Iris Simon consider worthy of being conserved: own home, children, work, the joy of living, your country … You know, superfluities.
