Dear Abby,
For over 20 years, my mother-in-law has shown unabashed favoritism towards my husband’s younger brother. Several people, including her own mother and my father-in-law, have tried to discuss it with her, but she refuses. My husband has accepted that there is nothing he can do to change his behavior.
Abby has recently, on the rare occasions we see her (once every three or four years), started making sarcastic comments, implying that she is “concerned” regarding the intellect of our children, one of whom is in an AP program.
Although my husband accepts her lack of love for him and would never stop having contact with her, I find it difficult to be around her because she is just cruel. I would like to dissuade her from visiting us in the future. Am I wrong to feel the way I feel?
— Wife and proud mom
No. By all means, keep your mother-in-law away from the grandkids, because even though she seldom sees them, chances are she’ll find a way to make them feel “inferior.” If you thought someone was contaminating her food, you wouldn’t stare. Well, the same is true if someone tries to lower her self-esteem with sarcastic comments.
Dear Abby,
My husband and I have been married for 35 years. Five years ago, he lost the ability to perform sexually. I admit it hasn’t been a priority since I got older and have some health issues. We have discovered other ways to enjoy each other. The problem is that he makes nasty comments about our lack of intimacy as if it’s my fault he can’t act. The comments are hurtful and make me not want to do anything.
It seems like he can turn any comment I make about something into one about sex, and they often hurt my feelings. One minute he says he wouldn’t change a thing about our life together, and the next he says something mean. I don’t know what to do. It’s almost like they’re two different people. I dread the night because that’s when it starts. Any ideas?
— Extremely frustrated
Your husband may be embarrassed, angry, and frustrated that he can’t act anymore, and he’s projecting all of that onto you. She might also be starting to “lose it.” I assume you have expressed to her how hurtful her comments are. Now is the time to discuss this with her family doctor, who knows her husband better than I do.
Dear Abby,
Under what circumstances is it socially acceptable to read a stranger’s tattoo? I often admire beautiful artwork, and one can appreciate that with a quick glance. But nowadays, I often come across people tattooed with a phrase, a quote or even a whole paragraph on their body. Is it rude to stop, look and read the tattoo? Do I need to ask permission first?
— Intrigued in St. Louis
When in doubt, ALWAYS ask permission before ogling. If she doesn’t, her admiration could be misconstrued, which could get her into trouble, depending on where the tattoo is located.
To my Muslim readers,
At sunset, it is time to break the Ramadan fast. Happy Eid al-Fitr everyone.
— With love, Abby
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Reference-www.providencejournal.com