When Sonya Singh was in the midst of a breakup, she searched for comfort in the form of books, TV and movies — content that wraps you in a safe cocoon, allowing your feelings to spill out.
She was looking for a great love story and a breakup survival guide that she could relate to, that could provide a balm for her wounds. But as a South Asian Canadian woman approaching her 40s, she found nothing.
“That really got me to the point where I thought, ‘Why can’t we have more people that look like us, that are South Asian and are talking about breakups?’” she said.
Singh, a former entertainment reporter and communications professional, decided to write the quintessential breakup companion and romantic comedy that she couldn’t find on shelves.
Her debut novel, “Sari, Not Sari,” was published April 5 by Simon and Schuster and has been landing on bestseller charts for weeks, including on the Star’s top 10 list of Canadian fiction.
Singh also signed a deal with Crown Media to write the screenplay for the first ever South Asian holiday film for Hallmark, which will be released later in 2022.
“Sari, Not Sari” follows Manny Dogra, an Indian-American woman who is the CEO of a company in California that helps people manage their breakups. Dogra is beautiful, successful and determined — but she finds herself questioning her identity de ella and wanting to understand her Indian heritage more after a magazine lightens her skin for a cover photo shoot.
In that process, Dogra meets a handsome South Asian man (a real heartthrob), with whom she makes a deal with that can only exist in a romantic comedy universe. If he lets her attend his brother’s lavish, weeklong Indian wedding and teaches her all the basics on how to connect with her roots de ella, she will help him with a messy breakup.
Even in the context of a light, breezy read, Singh is deeply committed to creating nuanced, South Asian characters that combat stereotypes while emphasizing the importance of being proud of culture and differences.
The central struggle that Dogra faces is incredibly relatable to anyone who has not felt completely comfortable in their environment, especially for those second and third-generation children of immigrants who have had to negotiate balancing multiple identities, family expectations and often racism.
Singh carefully highlights the beauty of South Asian culture, with rich descriptions of clothing, food, and how even loud, sometimes judgmental relatives can be a crucial support network. There’s also an important chapter that looks into the South Asian LGBTQ community and themes around acceptance.
The novel also contains all the sugary sweet romance elements anyone wanting to read a classic love story would be looking for, along with characters who recognize when a partner is not right for them, which is perfect for anyone nursing a breakup.
And the ideas central to the novel truly reflect Singh herself and her experiences, she told the Star.
First she thought of the Dogra character, who has a “non-traditional” role as the CEO of a breakup agency.
“Then the story went into place, about (Dogra) discovering her heritage, her culture, through the lens of my point of view… because all of those experiences have happened to me,” Singh said.
After being born and raised in Guelph Ont., and spending her teen years watching “Beverly Hills, 90210” and “Saved by the Bell,” Singh went through a long process to truly understand her own identity.
There wasn’t a story that reflected her experience of feeling heritage that she needed to leave her behind to succeed by assimilating.
“We would have other Indian families come over but, on the exterior, on the outside, we were very much trying to assimilate,” said Singh of her family’s time in Guelph.
“I certainly hid the fact that I was South Asian. I had a tough time even understanding it, because there were so many stereotypes that we watched on TV, whether it was the uncle owning the convenience store or driving a taxi,” she said. “And those turned into tough jokes to hear as a child and you want to distance yourself from that.”
She recalls her mother picking up her and her friends when she was a child and speaking Punjabi to her in the car. At the time, Singh was mortified.
“And I just want to go back and give that girl who was me a big hug. She was trying to fit in, but my mom was doing the best she could do, ”she said, adding that her mother de ella learned English through watching TV shows and working in a factory.
“That was really my experience… I denied I was Indian. I was really stubborn. I get really sad thinking about what I had to go through.”
“Sari, Not Sari” also examines the sacrifices immigrants make to succeed in the West, and what parents and grandparents face.
“As I wrote the book, I took a step back and thought … just how proud I am that (my parents) survived, they were living off of every dollar that they earned … they managed to do all of this and more,” Singh said.
Now she’s hoping “Sari, Not Sari” encourages others to feel proud about who they are.
She also wants more space in publishing for South Asian authors.
Singh faced pushback when she pitched the book initially, with one agent telling her two South Asian authors could not debut on the same day — giving the impression there are limited spots for authors of colour.
To combat this, South Asian authors need to stick together, said Singh. Seeing authors Amita Parikh and Lilly Singh on bestseller charts alongside her is an indication that the publishing industry is changing, Singh said.
“There’s tons of different stories to share, let’s just start sharing them.”
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