“Writing in therapy can be very therapeutic”
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Tracey Stark wears a diamond ring on the fourth finger of her right hand, made from the ashes of her two murdered sons.
“I feel writing my book about my former husband Corry MacDougal taking the lives of our sons, 11-year-old Radek and 13-year-old Ryder, has given me a voice and helped in my healing,” says Stark.
“I will always feel closer to my sons because of expressing my feelings in the book. But I will never forget my former husband Corry, who was 40 and my sons’ biological father, taking their lives with a shotgun and then turning it on himself.”
Early in the morning of Monday, Dec. 16, 2016, when Tracy and her husband Brent had discovered Ryder and Radek were absent from school and not answering their phones, they rushed over to her ex-husband’s home to investigate.
“All I could see from a window was Ryder lying with his legs covered in blood. I screamed. Neighbors came running from their doors. Someone called the police and they arrived quickly and knocked down the front door.”
The bodies of Radek and the boys’ father were quickly found. Police described the murders as “atrocious.”
Stark, living in Whitecourt, had primary care of her sons and had given permission for them to stay with their father in Spruce Grove for one school year to play a higher standard of hockey.
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The distraught mother had begun working with trauma therapist Sandra Young Kolbuc and suggested Kolbuc help her author a book.
“Writing in therapy can be very therapeutic,” says Kolbuc. “It gave us an opportunity to look at some of the things Tracy was feeling.
“She was initially full of anger, full of rage and stuck in the stage of grieving. I wanted to work with what was underneath. That led in 2019 to our writing a book.”
The book was named Gross Misconduct-Hitting from Behind: A mother’s Love Story. The book, says Stark, became a bestseller on 12 of Amazon’s categories and is now ranked fourth overall.
In their book, Stark describes leaving Corry in 2007, when Ryder was four and Radek one, saying Corry had become “a very angry man.” He called her rude names and wanted to be a dominating force in his sons’ lives from her.
“Corry was the boss man and things were always going to be his way,” writes Stark, adding later that Corry would not sign divorce papers and ignored court orders.
Stark also speaks of younger son Radek telling of their dad taking Ryder to Value Village and buying him a dress he told him to wear to hockey practice. When asked to please remove his dress from him at hockey practice by his coach, Ryder said he could not because his dad would be mad.
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He also sat Ryder down and totally shaved his head.
Therapist Kolbuc says their book tells of Stark’s days of utter devastation moving to more meaningful days honoring her sons’ lives.
While Stark works to bring awareness to the need to change societal attitudes and systems she believes failed her family, she has also launched the R&R Society of Canada.
“Originally, the idea was to help Whitecourt families who need a financial help-up to get their kids playing hockey,” says Stark. “Now we support all sports and work against family violence across Canada. The boys would have wanted that.”
To help, go to www.rnmemorialfund.com
Ramadan, a time of peace
Alberta’s Lt.-Gov. Salma Lakhani graciously recognized a gift of $42,000 to Edmonton’s Food Bank for hosting a small Iftar party at her government residence on her Friday night.
Iftar is when Muslims break their fasts at the end of Ramadan, a month-long celebration during which they do not consume anything from sunrise to sunset.
“Ramadan is a very special time in the Islamic calendar, a time of spiritual discipline and experience of faith,” the Lt.-Gov. told her guests.
“It is a time of peace, of renewal of faith and practice of charity, fraternity and appreciation of the family and community.”
Presenting the check to the Food Bank’s Shawn Parchoma was Yasmeen Nizam, the Edmonton Council of Muslim Communities vice-chair.
“Our Dawn to Dusk initiative sought to assist the broader Edmonton community by helping the Food Bank during a time when multitudes of Edmontonians had lost their jobs and could not afford basic food,” she said.
During Ramadan in the first year of the global pandemic, $8,500 was raised. The following year the initiative brought in $22,000 and this year more than $42,000 was donated.
“The Food Bank has the ability to purchase up to $4 of food for every dollar, so potentially this year’s donation could buy up to $168,000 worth of food for the underprivileged,” says Nizam.