New Parents Fight Isolation and Fatigue During COVID-19 Pandemic: Expert | The Canadian News

While all Canadians have been struggling with their mental health since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, new parents find it especially isolated and exhausting, according to a Regina doula.

Sara Beckel, doula and coordinator of Regina Perinatal Health Network, says new parents are dealing with additional stress such as lack of family support due to the pandemic, return to work, family demands, and fear of the unknown.

“Even with the vaccine, there is still an unknown level for young children and babies and I think we are also in a space where isolation has become normal and therefore we are trying to navigate the space of re-entry. slowly to the world, ”Beckel said.

“That is quite difficult for new parents when they are on vacation and at home. But it is especially stressful when you return to a world that feels different. “

Beckel is trained in postpartum support and provides non-clinical care to families in need.

He said that the mental health of parents has a direct impact on the mental health of children.

“It certainly is an issue that we need all eyes on and we must also invest in because of the health of our communities,” Beckel said.

For parents in Regina, Beckel said the Perinatal Health Network is providing direct services for families in need and coordination of care for anyone who is a new parent or a future parent struggling with their mental health.

Beckel said she believes many new parents have experienced a loss of community throughout the pandemic.

“Parenting is really a learned skill and we learn it by doing it with other people, and therefore the loss of community is quite significant,” Beckel said.

New mom Kaitlin Funke knows this experience firsthand. His daughter is now eight months old.

Funke considers himself a very social person, which is why COVID-19 had an impact on his mental health.

“I like to be busy. I thrive when I’m around people, my friends, my family, ”Funke said.

She was in Mexico when the pandemic hit Canada and had to return home to isolate herself.

“Everything changed and then came motherhood, then I got pregnant.”

“You hear that you get the pregnancy hormones and hope you don’t sleep,” Funke said. “Motherhood has two parts: it’s, ‘OMG, instant love, instant joy, it’s the best I’ve ever had,’ or you’ll never sleep again (and) this little human will terrify you for the next 10 years of your life, by less “.

When her daughter was born, Funke said she felt a disconnect.

“I didn’t have that instant feeling of, ‘Oh my gosh, this is the best I’ve ever seen,'” he recalled. Instead, she felt like she had PTSD just from the birth and being in the hospital. That overshadowed her early motherhood days. “You received no visitors. It was very isolating. “

She said that as time went on, around five months, she was able to bond with her new baby and enjoy the experience.

“You instantly think if you have postpartum depression or anxiety, immediately feel miserable or suicidal, or whatever. But it took me a few months, things were really good, I felt more normal and then all of a sudden I was really tired. “

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Funke described it as brain fog, saying he had trouble concentrating and felt super emotional or not at all emotional.

“At first I thought maybe it was just lack of sleep. Maybe that’s what motherhood is like. Maybe this is normal, maybe all mothers are feeling the struggle, and I’m just not good enough or I’m just not handling it well enough. “

Funke did an EPDS, a screening test for postpartum depression. What she found out was if she was sleeping or spending time with friends, she wasn’t changing how she felt.

It was then that Funke said she needed to seek more support to help regulate the way she was feeling.

Funke works as a home visitor for KidsFirst, which is a parenting support program, so she was aware of some of the support that she could access on her own.

Funke contacted Beckel at Regina Perinatal Health Network. After a Zoom call with Beckel, Funke was given a couple of options to move on.

Now, Funke makes a group call with other moms every Wednesday.

“I was testing all the things you hear,” Funke said. She joined mommy and baby groups, tried exercising, ate healthier meals, and spent time with friends. “In my mind I was like, ‘Well, I’m checking all the boxes and I should feel better.’ And I wasn’t. “

It was then that Funke decided that taking medication and seeking professional help was “what I was going to need to get back to feeling like myself.”

Funke said she is nervous and excited to get back to work.

On the one hand, Funke said she has been isolating the fact of being on vacation as the pandemic continues, while on the other hand, she also worries that her daughter is okay with having someone else take care of her.

Funke said she is also concerned about the constant exhaustion she faces. “Am I going to get to a place where my medicine gives me the energy I need to get through the day and be functional?”

Beckel said new parents she works with and returns to work are experiencing a lot of stress and fear of the unknown when it comes to getting to know their co-workers, the protocols and policies of COVID-19.

“I’m really encouraging you guys to get in touch with your workplace, get in touch sooner and get that information, gather as much information as possible so you can start making a plan,” added Beckel.

Finding daycare for your child also puts pressure on new parents.

“Finding a daycare that feels right for parents in order to balance employment and parenting needs at the same time remains a huge challenge,” said Beckel.

For parents who might be concerned about their children getting sick at daycare, Beckel encourages them to talk with the caregiver so they feel safe.

“Everyone has different needs for their family, so opening lines of communication during this challenging time is very, very important,” added Beckel.

Beckel said she would help new parents get back to work if their employers could help ease the transition and make sure everything is well organized when employees return so they don’t have to search for anything.

She added that it’s also important for employers to understand that it’s a great adjustment for a new parent to return to work.

“Having so much compassion for that employee and flexibility as they find their way is really important. We need to take care of people during these times and we must be understanding and open-minded about everyone’s needs, ”said Beckel.

Funke added that while the issue of the cost of mental health is coming to the fore, it still needs to be a higher priority.

She said she found some support groups, like art or yoga classes, that interested her, but the cost put her off, some priced at $ 200.

Funke believes that it is difficult for anyone, especially moms, to find accessible mental health while isolated at home with a baby. She said she also believes there is guilt associated with it, and moms may not want to tell people that they are struggling.

Funke said new moms may not want to be honest about their mental health issues, worrying that other people have concerns about the baby’s safety and well-being and wonder if the mother loves her child.

“It’s definitely not that. I love my son very much. It’s developing wonderfully, ”Funke said. “I have tried to give him as many experiences as I can, but I am still allowed to have those mental health issues that I am working on in the best way for me.”