Monegal’s critique: The best ‘survival kit’, the one from TV-3

In all television programs and magazines there’s excitement with that possible big blackout that maybe it’s going to fall on all of us. They do not tell us how or when it will happen, should it happen. They do not know. But they don’t stop giving us advice. In the temple of the ‘FAQS’ of TV-3 (‘Frequent questions’) they wanted to enlighten the parish and have traveled to a large area with a survival expert. Objective: to acquire the best ‘kit’ to face the tragedy from home, as best as possible. The expert has advised in the first place to buy bleach to purify the water. And then a bag of cat litter to poop because the toilet won’t work. He also advised toilet paper, dried fruit and nuts. Asked if we had to buy candles, he replied: “It is not necessary. When it gets dark, go to sleep, and the issue resolved.” Ah! Interesting pragmatism of this expert. However, in TV-3 they already have great experience on this subject. Since at least 2017, there has been a colossal ‘survival specific kit’ installed there that works great. Bleach is also the staple. It is a very particular bleach. To everyone who approaches with the desire to survive and prosper, they provide a few drops of a powerful concentration of processist hypochlorite that produces immediate effects. The creature that aspires to survive immediately notices it. Comforting well-being enters you.

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As long as you take the drops of that bleach every day, survival is guaranteed. The FAQS expert was asked: “What is worse, the cold or the heat?”. He did not hesitate for a moment: “The cold is terrible. If it is cold during the day, it is even more cold at night.” That is why the TV-3 ‘survival kit’ is so beautiful: while the audience watching them from the outside freezes, they from inside enjoy a stove powered by public resources that provides them with great warmth.

In the entire national telehippodrome there is only one other empire with a similar ‘survival kid’: the Mediaset empire. But there, the bleach has another formula: it is hypochlorite from viscera and is supplied on the barbecue. Yesterday was again Kiko Rivera in the ‘Deluxe’ (T-5), gutting mom and ‘tito’ Agustín. Ah! They must have given him such a formidable check that his survival is guaranteed for three months.

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