Josh Freed: dealing with cookies is more exhausting than delicious

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I was trying to read an online British newspaper that I subscribed to when a message appeared asking if “I agree” to your “cookie policy”, or if I prefer to “manage my cookies”.

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As usual, I blindly clicked “Agree”, probably for the hundredth time this year on that website alone.

In fact, I now spend much of my life clicking “I agree” everywhere from news and weather sites to shopping websites, sports sites, and online rhyming dictionaries.

However, despite the countless times I clicked “I accept all cookies on this website”, no cookies ever reached my door. Not even a cupcake or a cookie.

Instead, the same websites often ask me to “accept all cookies” over and over again, days and months later.

Many things in life require our agreement, like signing a lease or buying a car, but we usually only agree once. It only takes one “I agree” to get married and one more to get divorced.

So why do I have to accept “accept or manage all cookies” several times a week on some sites?

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“Cookies” is the delicious-sounding euphemism they have created for the computer codes that track and spy on our lives on the Internet. But how did we all become cookie masters of late?

A few years ago, no one asked us if we consented / agreed / agreed to be tracked online; they simply spied on us and stole our data, without our knowing it.

Then consumer advocates fought boldly to defend our right to privacy. So now we must give our “consent” before companies can steal our data, if we want your consent to use their websites.

We don’t even have to “accept all cookies”. We also have the right to “manage” our cookies and decide which parts of our Internet life businesses can be tracked.

However, this can be exhausting. When I occasionally try to “manage” my cookies, it often leads to a mind-boggling series of decisions I must make about what to let them spy on.

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For example, do I agree to be tracked?

a) To “guarantee web security and prevent fraud”? (Sure.)

b) To “improve the analytics and efficiency of computers”? (Hmmm, bafflegab – but maybe ).

c) Spy on my social networks and love life? NO!

d) Being spied on by advertisers? No, again, but saying no to this option sometimes means I can’t use your website at all. (To understand why, just read their 5,000 word “cookie policy”).

But even when I take half an hour to “manage” all my choices carefully, they often ask me to do it again the next time I visit their site.

Everything is so exhausting that most of us finally raise our arms and click “I agree with everything you want!” with just a thought. However, this is strange behavior, if you think about it.

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If they told you that strangers follow you everywhere and report what you buy, where you are going and who you are talking to, perhaps even recording your conversations, you would call the police to arrest them.

But on the Internet, we just shrug our shoulders and say “I agree.” I guess that’s how cookies fall apart.

Frankly dealing with all my cookies has become a part time job and I need a special assistant so maybe I should hire Cookie Monster.

But it is also a reflection of modern life. We live in a world where more and more jobs are outsourced to us. We book our own planes and hotels, plug in our own phones, and plug in and repair our own Internet because telecommunications companies will no longer come to our homes.

Now we can manage the spyware “cookie” that companies use to secretly track our lives.

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Part of me is glad I have the right to “handle” who spies on me, but it takes a long time. Then another part of me longs for the days when they would just spy without asking.

Meanwhile, in some global corporate super office they are probably laughing as they dream of more grueling questions that we will eventually end up accepting. For instance:

“Do you agree to accept all biofeedback cookies that track toothbrush movements, hours of sleep, night burping, yawning, sighing, and sexual activity?

“If you prefer to manage your own biofeedback spyware, please complete the 350 options attached. Otherwise, we will manage your biology for you. “

Of course, you can always refuse to accept cookies and never be tracked anywhere online. But then you may need to read the news at your local library and rely on in-person time instead of FaceTime.

Frankly, I dream of the day someone invents phones and computers that I can pay a little more for because no one will be able to see my data or track me except me.

Until then, many sites will follow me and I will follow you as you read me. Hope you agree, but don’t expect me to send you chocolate chip cookies.

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