She is one of the outstanding soccer players of a dream team. Forming a trident with Patri Guijarro and Alexia Putellas in the midfield of the Estadi Johan Cruyff, the ’14’ not only stands out for its cheerful and unapologetic football, but also for being in itself a figure that perfectly represents what Barça is. In the maelstrom of trips and games, she has found time to write her book, ‘Aitana Bonmatí: totes unides fem força’, where she reviews her career until she reached the treble last season. While this is happening, Aitana, 24, will return to the Camp Nou on Friday to play the first leg of the Champions League semifinals against a Wolfsburg team that was the Catalans’ executioner two seasons ago.
Did you expect to have a season like the one you’re doing after last year’s treble? At the moment we cannot draw many conclusions because there are two titles left to fight for. We have lifted the Spanish League and Super Cup, but there are still important trophies to come, such as the Champions League and the Queen’s Cup. Everything is going perfectly, now comes the good part and we will see what level we are at.
How do you see the Champions League at the Camp Nou against Wolfsburg, the last rival to eliminate you from the competition? There has to be a rematch, but I don’t focus much on that. We are a very different team from two seasons ago, more powerful and grown in mental strength. We have a brutal confidence because we have reached heights that we had never achieved before. The context is radically different, so I will base myself on the fact that now we have a team to get through the tie and we will have to put all our forces into it because it will be a very tough rival.
How do you rate your season on an individual level? I started very well, but after the injury I had in January it has been difficult for me to come back because in terms of confidence, standing still is not easy, and even more so in a sport as demanding as football. There are times when you are not one hundred percent, but you don’t have to blame yourself because the attitude is always there. Now I’m back in one of my best moments and it’s perfect because it coincides with the decisive part of the season.
In the book she talks about how there is a fine line between success and failure and that she does not allow herself to fail. How do you manage this requirement? I have moments. Before, I used to take everything from white to black and I had a hard time not accepting when I had lower moments or mistakes. Now I manage it much better, despite the fact that there are times when you have little confidence, you’re low in spirits and it’s hard for you to move forward. I am a super resilient player who has never lowered my arms, although it is true that being so self-demanding can play tricks on me, but I think that thanks to this component I have gotten where I am now.
And in this ‘search for the grays’… Do you consider yourself a better footballer on a mental level? I still have a lot to learn. Psychology is a fundamental tool for everyone, although not everyone can afford it. We all have psychological shortcomings because of how we have been educated, and I am not talking about my parents (laughs), but in general when you are born, what they teach you at school, social networks or television. Everyone has a lack of confidence at times and also low self-esteem. I don’t consider myself weird for having moments like this because no one is perfect. The best of all is that I still have many things to improve and that’s what I’m working on. For me it is a pride to be able to continue working and I do it with pleasure because I know that I am doing well and thanks to this today I am more emotionally intelligent and I know how to better manage moments, whether they are good or bad, on the pitch. I see myself as a footballer with character as well as personality and when things go wrong I try to show myself as I am, trying to help the team to be able to move forward however I can.
In his book he says that “writing about yourself is very therapeutic because it helps you get rid of certain emotions.” Do you still do it? How does it help you? It’s not something you do every day. I have learned, with the help of psychology, that when you have emotions inside that are wearing you down or making you have a hard time, it is often okay to write them down on paper and leave it there so you don’t spend all day thinking about it. It is not something instantaneous, but by writing it down you end up freeing your mind from this thought. It’s been great for me because you stop thinking. If that is of interest, I can reread it later, but each moment is unique and different and it is an exercise that serves more to bring out the emotions that remain inside us and that can play tricks on us. You write it on paper and take it off yourself.
Negative emotions that contrast with the joy that the moment in the playground meant for you when you went to school because you could “just play football”. Do you have that freedom in the elite, where everything seems more and more structured? At Barça we work very well and it’s a pleasure to do it with this coaching staff and players because we prepare each game differently, since each rival is unique and you can’t always play the same. The ‘staff’ gives me tactical instructions and helps me to be more effective on the field, but on the pitch you don’t stop being you and you have moments when things go by themselves. In matches you have to flow; logically with a game scheme studied to know where you can influence to do damage, but from here free yourself and be yourself. When you enjoy yourself on the pitch things go by themselves, but when you start to think too much you stop flowing. My best football appears when I don’t think because I show myself as I am.
How much freedom does the coaching staff leave you in a match? Within the game plan, each footballer has his own characteristics. For example, what I can contribute is not the same as Caro (Graham Hansen), to give you one. She usually faces her brand, but not because they tell her or it’s in the plan, but because it’s something that belongs to her. We follow an idea, but each one of us is different and we contribute what we know how to do best.
And on a personal analysis level, could you talk about your evolution since you debuted with the first team until today? I have always considered myself a smart player. The fact of being a midfielder at Can Barça also helps because your tasks are knowing how to interpret and manage matches. I’m not the same player at 16 as I was at 24, nor will I be the same when I’m 30. I’ve evolved technically, tactically and physically. You never stop improving and you have many facets to do so. I consider myself a much more mature and firm footballer. Now I can spend the entire game running, then catch the ball and move the team or finish. Working so hard has helped me to be much more complete, especially on a physical level.
Bearing this in mind, what improvement objectives are you considering now? The road is long and I still have many years to go. There are always aspects to improve. Now I am a player who thinks a lot about the team and is guilty of passing too much in situations where he could look for the goal. From the bench they insist a lot that I shoot faster because in clear goal situations I still look for the pass before because I don’t have that ‘goal DNA’. I consider myself a team player, who makes the others play (and score) because I have always experienced it that way. The reality is that when I have opportunities I have a hard time finishing and I would like to be more offensive with a goal in my head. I dress on many occasions and think ‘why don’t you shoot?’ My aspect to improve is the demand in the completion.
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Talk about your parents, so important in the process… What role do they have now? I consider myself a fairly independent person and always have been. I don’t have siblings, I do have many cousins, uncles… And I have always lived in Sant Pere de Ribes. I have gone very to my ball in the village with my friends. I went up and down alone, something I keep from when I was little because it still happens to me. In this ‘independence’ I know that my parents are there. We live in the same town, in different houses, but I don’t see them much. I don’t consider myself a family person, but they are very important to me and are always there to help me. When I need support, help or an opinion, I stop by their house and spend some time with them.
In the book you talk about your mother having fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, but you don’t specify what that has meant to you. How are you doing? It will be about ten years since she had these two illnesses that prevented her from continuing to teach Catalan language and literature. She is fine now, in a very beautiful vital moment, calm and happy. When it started it was hard for her because it meant a radical change in her life, she had to stop doing many things, being very active, because you can’t wear yourself out so much having body pain all day. She couldn’t come with me to training either. I remember that my mother had a very bad time during those years, but since she was little, she didn’t realize it. I would have liked to help more at that time, but since I didn’t then I try to be there now. I know you strive to enjoy life to the fullest.