‘I ended his life’: Brian Laundrie’s notebook appears to contain a confession to killing Gabby Petito

NEW YORK — For the first time, the parents of Brian Laundrie, Gabby Petito’s fiancé, have published writings from his personal notebook.

And it contains what appears to be Laundrie’s confession to killing Petito.

One page reads in part, quote: “I ended her life. I thought I was merciful, that’s what she wanted, but now I see all the mistakes I made.”

The FBI recovered the notebook near his remains in 2021 in Florida.

The Laundrie family’s attorney, Steve Bertolino, released the following statement along with the documents.

Today, the Petito family’s attorney, Patrick Reilly, and I met with the FBI in Tampa to review and take possession of personal items belonging to Gabby and Brian. This was a previously agreed exchange so that both the Petitos and the Lavanderías received what belonged to their respective children. As part of this return of property in FBI custody, I was given Brian’s notebook. I would like to share with the public the note the FBI alluded to when it said on January 21, 2022 that Brian claimed responsibility for the death of Gabby Petito. Although I have chosen to publish this letter for transparency reasons, I will not comment further as there are still proceedings pending in Court. These are Brian’s words:

a transcript of the diaries provided by ABC News



I wish I was right next to you. I wish I could be talking to you right now. I’d be revisiting every memory we made, getting even more excited for the future. But we have lost our future. I can not live without you. I’ve wasted every day we could have spent together. Every morning. I will never play with (illegible) again. Never go hiking with TJ. He loved you more than anything. I can’t stand looking at our photos, remembering great moments because that’s why I can’t continue. When I close my eyes, I’ll think about lying on the roof of the van and falling asleep seeing an (illegible) in the crystal geyser. I will always love you.


If you were reading Gab’s diary, looking at photos of our life together, flipping through old cards, you wouldn’t want to live a day without her. Knowing that every day you will wake up without it, you will not want to wake up from it. I’m sorry to everyone that this will affect. Gabby was the love of my life, but I know (illegible) for many. I feel very sorry for her family, because I love them. I would consider her younger siblings my best friends. I feel sorry for my family, this is a shock to them as well as a terrible pain.


They wanted as much, if not more than me. A new daughter for my mother, an aunt for my nephews. Please don’t make this more difficult for them. This (illegible) as an unexpected tragedy. Running back to our car trying to cross the fumes of (illegible) before it got too dark to see, too cold. I hear a splash and a scream. I could barely see. I couldn’t find her for a moment, I called out her name. I found her breathing (illegible) panting (two lines here too smudged to read) the scorching National Parks…


…in Utah. The temperature had dropped to zero and she was soaking wet. I carried her as far downriver as I could toward the car, stumbling, exhausted, in shock, when I (illegible) and knew I couldn’t carry her safely. I lit a fire and spooned her as close to the heat as possible, she was such a thing, she already had been freezing too long. I couldn’t realize at the time that I should have started a fire first, but I wanted her to get out of the cold and get back in the car. From where I started the fire, I had no idea how far away the car could be. Only…


…knew it was on the other side of the creek. When I pulled Gabby out of the water, she couldn’t tell me what was hurting her. She had a small lump on her forehead that grew larger over time. Her feet ached, her wrists ached, but she was icy cold and she was shaking violently. As she carried her, she continually made noises of pain. Lying beside her, she said little, between violent jerks, gasping in pain, begging for an end to her pain. She would fall asleep and I would shake her awake for fear she wouldn’t close her eyes if she had a concussion.


She would wake up in pain, start her whole painful cycle all over again while being furious that I was the one waking her up. She wouldn’t let me try to cross the creek, she thought as I did that the fire would go out while she slept and she would freeze. I don’t know the extent of Gabby’s injuries, just that she was in extreme pain. I ended her life. I thought it was merciful, that it was what she wanted, but now I see all the mistakes I made. I (illegible)., She was in shock. But from the moment I decided, I took the pain away, I couldn’t go on without her.


I ran home to spend what time I had left with my family. I wanted to drive north and let James or TJ kill me, but I wouldn’t want them to spend time in jail for my mistake, although I’m sure they would have. I’m changing my life not for fear of punishment but because I can’t bear to live another day without her. I have lost our entire future together, every moment we could have cherished. I’m sorry for everyone’s loss. Please don’t make life more difficult for my family, they lost a son and a daughter. The most beautiful girl in the world, Gabby, I’m sorry.


I have committed suicide by this creek in the hope that the animals will tear me apart. That can make some of your family happy.

Please collect all my things. Gabby hated people who litter.

On Wednesday, the lawyers of both families face each other in a Florida court in relation to a civil lawsuit filed three months ago by the Petito family against La Lavandería.

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