Brownstein: ‘burned and angry’, chef David McMillan dumps it

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David McMillan is throwing in the towel. And the apron.

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“I was exhausted. I was angry all the time. I decided I couldn’t live like this anymore, ”McMillan said in an exclusive interview with the Montreal Gazette.

McMillan, one of the most renowned restaurateurs in the country and indeed the continent, has retired after 32 years in the kitchen. The co-founder and, until recently, co-owner of Joe Beef, Le Vin Papillon, Liverpool House, McKiernan and Vinette, had long committed to leaving the business when he turned 50.

He recently turned 50 and stayed true to his word. He has sold his restaurant interests to co-founders and partners Fred Morin and Allison Cunningham.

McMillan will now spend much of his time communicating with nature on his farm in St-Armand and growing all kinds of vegetables and grapes for the wines to come.

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“I had 1,000 mice living in my head,” McMillan said over espresso on Avenue G. “A dishwasher mouse, an electricians mouse, a wine mouse, a bathroom mouse, a front door mouse , a mouse for garbage. … Now there are no more mice ”.

McMillan understands well the perceived glamor others have of the high-end restaurant trade. He sees it differently.

“It’s five percent cooking. It’s a 95 percent clean. To be able to cook dinner for 50 people, it will take you four hours, then 12 hours to clean. It’s not glamor, ”he said.

“It’s a 6 o’clock show, which is what I want it to be. Put your smiles. … People come to give us money. Hug them, shake their hands. Make sure the temperature is perfect, the wine is perfect, the food is delicious. … It’s like Broadway every night: two sessions. … It is one of the greatest feelings in the world. But to get to that point with a high level of success, it takes years and years of woodworking on a perfect boat. And everything can be undone if one person does not row the boat as well as the others. … And the ship can sink.

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“You can search for perfection all the time and never find it. The best restaurant in the world is never perfect. “

In addition to taking care of his farm and his three daughters, Dylan, Lola and Cecile, McMillan, who just bought a place in Pointe-Claire to be closer to his children in Dorval, has some intriguing fantasies, even for him.

“I want to work at Home Depot in the tool or lumber department or as an orderly in the emergency department at Lakeshore General Hospital. I just want a boss and a shift. I’ll work in the hospital for free. I need structure and not be the boss. My mom has spent a lot of time working in hospice and finds it really rewarding. Maybe I should, “he said before quickly reflecting,” Never again in my life do I want to shave white truffles on asparagus for someone from Toronto. “

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As you go along, the latter is the classic McMillan, also a co-author of the bestselling Joe Beef’s Art of Living: A Cookbook of Sorts and Joe Beef: Surviving the Apocalypse – Another Cookbook of Sorts.

McMillan has always been a maverick and is proud of it. Even your drummer marches to the beat of another drummer.

“I’ve worked for a lot of guys who should have left when they were 50… There have been some sad endings in the restaurant business. I was preparing my way out when the pandemic hit and then I was sucked in again. It was a shock. Like everyone else, we all have stories of pandemics. After this incredible run, I was banging my head against the wall trying to figure out what I could sell online to pack in an aluminum box to deliver or to collect. … It was out of my experience. … I was trying to find a way to make crisp potatoes ride an Uber. The whole experience was demoralizing. “

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What I wasn’t expecting when it seemed like the pandemic was ending was a labor shortage. Which caused a new level of stress.

“I just got mad. Mad at the door, mad at the refrigeration technician, mad at the dishwasher machine, mad at the price of meat, mad at the young chefs, mad at the older cooks. He was criticizing a lot of people who shouldn’t have done it. I was disappointed and tired. When I woke up in the morning, I didn’t like coming to work. And I’m lucky, because for 99 percent of my career, I couldn’t wait to start working. But I really started hitting the wall. I’d wake up in the middle of the night with cold sweats. “

He regrets having a skirmish with former Joe Beef chef Gabriel Drapeau, now executive chef at WeCook.

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“Honestly, I think that’s what led me to (leave) in the end. I was fighting with Gab. I was really starting to get mad and see things I didn’t like in Joe Beef, and he’s my friend. My training is archaic. I came to restaurants where you were still being beaten, where yelling in the kitchen was absolutely fine. We have changed a lot in the last decade. Fortunately.”

But not long enough for him to stay.

“Running a restaurant, let alone five, there are so many moving parts. You lie in bed, knowing that every 14 days you have to pay 140 people. That wears you out. There is no peace After leaving restaurants a month ago, two weeks later I began to feel the innocence that I had when I was in high school. My biggest concern when I woke up this morning was making my daughter’s amazing lunch for school. “

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McMillan started out in the kitchen, preparing breakfast at the classic but now-defunct Le Caveau. “I was cooking for politicians like (Jacques) Parizeau, (Pierre-Marc and Daniel) Johnson and powerful entrepreneurs like the Desmarais family. It was the best restaurant I have ever worked in. It was surreal, another world. I never saw that again.

“I fell in love with the little French restaurants by candlelight with handwritten menus. That’s what attracted me. … Fred and I join in the old French cuisine… kidneys, liver, duck, seafood, market cuisine. I felt like French cuisine was bad 20 years ago. I don’t know now six French restaurants in the city. … Hopefully we’ll see more. “

Among other places here and in Europe, McMillan worked on the legendary Les Caprices de Nicolas, under the tutelage of the late Nicolas Jongleux, who died by suicide. Like McMillan’s friend and mentor, Anthony Bourdain.

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“There have been many, many suicides. Quite a drug overdose. Much drug abuse and alcoholism. I am quite damaged, but in terms of health I am fine. “

He was in rehab three years ago. Now he will only drink a little wine “maybe once a month on special occasions under strict supervisory conditions.”

“I like to wake up at 5 in the morning on the farm. I’m in bed at 7:30, at 8 at night, often before my daughters. … We didn’t work 35, 40 hours a week before. There were 80 hours a week, if not 100 … Seeing the sun rise now is something new for me. “

Could you ever be drawn back to the trade?

“Maybe this is an intermission. Maybe I only need 36 months off. Maybe one day he’ll open a 12-seat restaurant on the farm. … But now it’s such a young man’s game. Part of my brain thinks he’s 16 and I can do it. But the reality is that even when I cook for five or six people on the farm, my back, knees and ankles hurt. I’m not as smart as I used to be. I’m not at my apex, predator mode.

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“When I come to town now, dread fills my heart. I am too old to find parking. But my heart fills with joy when I drive down a dirt road and see wild deer and turkeys. And see the horizon. I spent 12 hours a day inside a windowless room with white tiles, stainless steel stoves, and six burners. Being able to get away from the restaurant business sometimes feels like getting away from jail. “

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