The net effect of threats and violence is to discourage women, particularly from minority groups, from participating in public affairs.
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The first time I was threatened with sexual violence was shocking. It was in response, or more accurately, a petulant reaction to a column in which he belittled players. They didn’t like what he had to say about them. Many of them chose to threaten me, including death and gang rape, in no particular order.
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If memory serves, this happened in the mid-2000s and lasted about three years.
I trust the subject makes you very uncomfortable. as it should. Sexual violence, everything from the extremely crude call for rape, FHRITP (Google under your responsibility) yelled at female TV journalists while making a live hit, to “milder” forms of harassment, such as a rogue hand , all the way to physical, literal and sexual assault is a difficult thing to face.
Why am I putting you through that wringer?
Because women, and those who look like women although they do not identify as such, live with this reality, especially if they are public with their opinions. Journalists and politicians, unsurprisingly, top that list. It is not right to ignore such a widespread problem by insisting that victims keep the details to themselves. Because it affects everyone.
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Payne cites Peterborough County. Kemi Akapo, Mississippi Mills Mayor Christa Lowry, and Senator Bernadette Clement, who, prior to her appointment, was Ontario’s first black female mayor after being elected to lead Cornwall in 2018.
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“When I first ran in 2006, it wasn’t a concern,” Bernadette Clement said in an interview, “but now it is. We are all victims of toxicity in the political space, but women in particular get a lot of comments about our appearance. That is particularly painful and annoying. I think women in leadership roles get more criticism than their fair share.”
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What is needed is for everyone to step up, especially men. If they made an effort to report toxic behavior when and where they see it, it would go a long way toward marginalizing it. I know men who already do that. I tell you: I see you, and thank you. I want more men to behave like you.
Show everyone what a healthy and confident man can be. And please don’t ever stop because trolls sure don’t. There are girls growing up now who need you. There are grown women who need you too. And more importantly, you have to be that kind of man for yourself.
Some of us are capable of contemplating sexual violence and toxic masculinity. Personally, I think it has made me stronger, but at a significant cost. I don’t want anyone to have to go through that just to harden their skin. It shouldn’t be too much to ask.
brigitte pellerin is a writer from Ottawa.