Of the male masturbation has always been talked about. In fact, it is assumed that a man masturbates because it is something that is associated with the concept of hegemonic masculinity. It is a topic that has been openly discussed despite the fact that at some point this sexual practice has been publicly censored. Despite being a game prohibited by the catholic religion (which is the one I know), many guys have been clear about what to do with their body in order to masturbate.
If we talk about the feminine, everything works very differently. If I had to define what surrounds female masturbation it would be the silence. Everything related to female pleasure is shrouded in silence, lies and morality. The patriarchy has invented that a man cannot control his desires and impulses, therefore he receives more understanding regarding masturbation. “It’s normal for him to do it because he needs it.” However, women have always been denied access to our pleasure and we have been educated to be objects of desire and not to be subjects of desire. We’re supposed to please each other (especially when he is a cisheterosexual man) and our own satisfaction is not the priority.
The Spiderman?
This combination has made many women not know their own body. In consultation There are many women who have come to masturbation when they are older or from the moment their partners have masturbated them. And what model of female masturbation do we have? When I go to high schools to talk to students from fifth grade to high school, they always tell me the same thing when we talk about female masturbation. When I ask them how a girl masturbates they tell me: “doing the spiderman! & rdquor ;. I don’t think there’s a class where I haven’t been told that.
And do you know what Spiderman is? (aside from a fictional Marvel superhero, of course). It’s what many guys think they should do if they want to masturbate a girl: use the middle and ring fingers to introduce them inside the vagina and make a movement like what Spiderman does to remove the web. I’m also sometimes called female masturbation involves “fingering.” I always ask where they should be inserted and they tell me that they should be inserted into the vagina.
So, we still associate the vagina (which is really the birth canal) with the area from which orgasms are achieved. And I do not want to say that it is not pleasant, but 70-75% of women and/or people with vulva do not orgasm when the internal part of the genitals is stimulated. And of the remaining 25-30% we don’t know how many are directly or indirectly pampering their clitoris while they orgasm.
Freud and immaturity
There are also many women who do not know very well what to do to masturbate. And maybe someone can ask how can a woman not know what to do to achieve her own sexual pleasure. The answer is complex, but the combination that we were saying before of patriarchal masculinity, fragile femininity, asexual and implying that it should be an object of pleasure, together with making women believe that they are worth less and due to the spread of big lies about female pleasure (thank you Freud for being a macho for saying that women who felt pleasure from the clitoris were immature& mldr; perhaps the immature was you) there have been (and there are) many women who do not masturbate or who do not reach orgasm or they know their pleasurable sensations.
Studies
Therefore, reading that women, worldwide, masturbate more now than in previous years I think that’s wonderful news. Obviously there is a lot of work to be done to achieve equality and the same rights in terms of sexual pleasure but, little by little, we are waking up.
Thanks to a study carried out by the companions of Womanizer – The Original, we know that women masturbate an average of 1.4 times a week while men masturbate 2.8 times a week. Symbolically (and for the third consecutive year) thanks to this study, Womanizer has calculated the International Day of Equal Masturbation. According to the team that carried out the study:
“Masturbation Equality Day indicates that women have not yet masturbated until that day of the year, while men have since the beginning. Compared to last year, women masturbate significantly more, and this change has impacted all countries. On average, women masturbate 76 times a year, 23 times more than last year.
In the meantime, we continue to work to make sexual education and pleasure available to everyone on an equal basis and, furthermore, let us bear in mind that there are many people who do not fit into these binary gender categories.
Do you think there will be a day where all people can masturbate on equal terms?
THE NEWSPAPER opens the space Understand + relationships and sexuality to share your questions, suggestions and contributions on these issues.
The psychologist specialized in couples therapy, sexology, family therapy and perinatal psychology Elena Crespi It will be in charge of resolving all those questions that arise and will propose content that will contribute to making our relationships healthier and more satisfactory.
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