Who’s who of the prisoners

I don’t remember in which newspaper I read the article I am about to comment on, but I do remember its headline, which reported that Emilio Lozoya Austin had dined in jail on Christmas night. Surely the writer or editor of such news is unaware of a basic rule of journalism —one of the few that I know—. “News is not that a dog bites a man, news is that a man bites a dog.” What I want to say is that if we know that Lozoya has been imprisoned since November 3 of last year, the logical thing — the dog that bites the man — is that he had dinner in prison. It would be news if he had dined at the Hunan, which brings back such pleasant memories.

But the story would have been of a fair degree of interest if the writer or publisher had told us what kind of dog had bitten the man: a Rottweiler or a Yorkshire terrier? if the dog was angry or just bit him, given his mute condition, to comply with the saying “dog that barks does not bite”. In other words, given the obvious fact that Lozoya spent Christmas in a stall, the news would have raised a few degrees of interest if, given the identity of the character, they inform us: what did he have for dinner? Who did you have dinner with? Did he put a Christmas tree in his cell or just a nativity scene?

Could someone tell me about another rule of journalism unknown to me: “There is nothing older than yesterday’s newspaper.” Bringing to my column a story published 20 days ago is not journalistic. I am not unaware of the precept, what happens is that since I read the article I have not stopped thinking about something to which we citizens have a right and that I want to expose here. Just as in the morning of the president there are, weekly, two sections: “Who’s who in prices”, on Mondays and “Who’s who in fake news”, on Wednesdays. Establish once a month, a section called: “Who is who of the prisoners” where citizens are informed that —although they were robbed from us we continue to keep them— the activities of imprisoned politicians: what prison are they in? Who visits them? What do they eat? How do they sleep? What do they spend their free time on?

I don’t know about you, but this editor is interested in knowing the living conditions and comfort levels of politicians who are in jail for being corrupt. What is César Duarte doing in the Miami prison while being extradited to Mexico? Will you think about how to invest the money that will never return to the treasury? Could Mario Marín have two beautiful little bottles of cognac in his cell? Will the horseman Roberto Sandoval, ex-governor of Nayarit, be allowed, on visiting days, to practice horseback riding with the obstacles that are placed on the families of common prisoners? How would the other inmates have received Cuauhtémoc Gutiérrez? Did they put him to pick up the garbage? Will he be able to have an intimate visit from his secretaries? A prisoner whose fate interests me in particular because he is a prisoner is the pedophile deputy Saúl Huerta Corona. What if he pulled his strings and got sent to Juvenile Court? Although late we learned that Kamel Nacif was arrested in Lebanon where he was imprisoned and later released on bail. By the way, during his stay in seclusion, by spending many dollars, he chose the mas-morra to sleep (northern joke that needs a misspelling to be so).

From a good source we know that Javidú, alias Javier Duarte, as part of his rehabilitation continues, in confinement, making poetry in the manner of Seville’s Santiago Montoto. Here is his latest creation: “Because I’m naughty, I’m in jail, I confess. My process is thick, while I gain weight. Oh, what is that?

Hopefully my idea will be accepted and soon we will be able to know: “Who is who of the prisoners.”

Manuel Wormwood

Writer and television screenwriter

The Privilege of Opinion

Mexican television writer. Known for having written the scripts for programs such as Ensalada de Locos, La carabina de Ambrosio, La Güereja and something else, El privilege de manda, among others.


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