The worsening COVID-19 situation, coupled with pleas from health officials to avoid large gatherings, will no doubt have turned down vacation plans for many, in addition to lingering uncertainty about what might happen.
Experts say it’s helpful to let go of feelings of disappointment and, even if it’s a cliché, to focus on what the holidays mean to you and how you’d like to feel.
For Carolyn Klassen of Conexus Counseling, that starts with taking stock of your emotions.
“Our natural response when we feel sad and disappointed, because those are uncomfortable feelings, we quickly transform that into: who can we blame and who can we be angry with? Because that gives us a kind of sense of control, ”says Klassen.
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“I would invite people to uphold the fact that, as angry as they are and as much as they want to blame someone, if they can take off that layer and say ‘what’s under that?’ There is pain, sadness and disappointment. “
Winnipeg psychologist Dr. Toby Rutner suggests that people look for ways to emulate the positive feelings they associate with the holidays, rather than dwelling on their expectations.
“Christmas, for most of us, has been a time of guilt and obligation. And now is the time for guilt, obligation and fear, ”says Dr. Rutner.
“I think we can shed any of those feelings and focus on the kind of Christmas we would like to have; And that’s staying home and watching college football, dining alone, or going for a walk… let’s do it. Let’s not focus on what has traditionally been a conventional way of doing it. “
Dr. Rutner adds that some people may be overwhelmed by the constant stream of COVID news, but in the long run, things may not be as bad as they seem.
“It’s more difficult when we get messages in the media that the end is near and things are getting bad, but we’ve heard it before and turned a corner and I’m optimistic,” says Dr. Rutner.
“So I think we should approach in a more optimistic way. We have to be careful to determine what is risky and what is safe, and focus on helping ourselves get through this emotionally, because we will get through it. “
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In the short term, people may wonder how to cancel meetings or stop inviting each other to social functions.
Klassen says it’s natural for the other person to feel slighted, but says it’s important for both of you to realize that it’s not personal.
“I can make a cup of tea, take a minute to find out what I want to do, what I’m comfortable with, and now I’m going to figure out how to say gracefully: ‘I care about you, I care about you, and that’s why I’m making decisions. really difficult, ‘”says Klassen.
“The people in my life who canceled, I know they felt bad, and I wanted to work to say, ‘I’m disappointed and support your decision.’ I can be disappointed even when I acknowledge that you are doing the right thing for your family. “
Both experts say it helps to keep in mind that everyone is having a very similar experience right now and that they are all together.
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