Professor Bacterio’s Nougat

Perhaps I have lost my mind or paranoia invades me, but I can assure you that I am surrounded by rare nougat& mldr; They are there, everywhere, do you see them? Wild experiments that greet me from the shelves of Mercadona & mldr; Mutations beyond human comprehension that, as if they were ‘Lovecraftian’ visions, could plunge anyone into utter madness.

I call them the Professor Bacterio nougat. If we lived in a comic by Mortadelo and Filemón, they would come straight out of the laboratory of that sloppy and crazy inventor that Francisco Ibáñez gave birth to. I have tried Frankenstein nougat with mojito, custard or Oreo, I have eaten one with potato chips signed by Albert Adrià, but no one had prepared me for the new episode that the ‘next generation’ nougats had in store for us this Christmas. Take a shovel to collect your brain: we already have ‘bread with tomato’ nougat.

Paella croquettes

These days it’s been done viral an unfortunate british invention: the paella croquettes. Spain has launched all its artillery against this unnatural aberration. It’s funny, we love to mount the sacrosanct drama when the gastronomic nasty things are Anglo-Saxon -that they tell Jamie Oliver-, but on the other hand, it does not disturb us in the least that there is a ‘pa amb tomàquet’ nougat.

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Some naive thought that Adrià’s experiment with chips was the end of this hysterical race towards the nougat nonsense, but no, this has only just begun, and with the occurrence of l’pa amb tomàquet ‘a line has been crossed from which it will be difficult to return. We only have one consolation: there is less left for someone to remove the ‘head and leg with chickpeas’ nougat and the universe explodes into a thousand pieces.

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