My candidacy to direct TV-3, by Albert Soler


I expose: what a view call to occupy the direction of TV-3I present my candidacy, urging the competent authority not to postpone my appointment, as such a fundamental position to educate Catalans in the authentic faith, needless to say, the lacist, cannot remain vacant.

Among my merits are to be purebred Catalan, losing the origin of my ancestors in caves of the most remote and deepest Catalonia, ergo the true one, when hordes of settlers had not yet arrived to oppress us by carrying out the jobs that we rejected here. It is no less merit to have shared years working side by side with the very excellent Vivales, of whom I have fond memories, leaning on the bar of the Boomerang nightclub, always alone, already thinking about the destiny that history reserved for him, as he implied his gaze absorbed in the cuba libre that he waved in his hand.

it is my intention completely change TV-3 so that everything remains the same (Note the cultural background of the undersigned, which includes readings such as ‘El Gatopardo’). The renewal of Catalan television must mean turning it into the television of the regime, of the lacist regime, of course. You may object that this is already the case, but I propose to do it openly. Suffice it, for example, my intention to replace the ‘FAQS’ with ‘Hello, Vivales!’ broadcast from Waterloo, in which every good Catalan will be able to ask the legitimate president in exile about what worries him, with special emphasis on the subjects that the Right Honorable Master dominates, which for the moment are none other than pastries and the costing of money among the faithful based on the most outlandish excuses.

The pardon granted to the lacist leaders has deprived us of a program about prisons, in the style of those that are so successful on other televisions. I open the door for the idea to be taken up again if, as expected, Laura Borras Enter one of those institutions. In case that unfortunately isn’t the case, she will be hired for a DIY program, where she will teach viewers how to dismantle contracts without the end result suffering.

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There will be cooking shows presented by Oriol Junqueras; a ‘My house is yours’ where Presidentorra will receive celebrities in the Girona mansion that all Catalans pay for their services; a ‘Survivors’ where characters like Valtonyc, Matamala, Comin and others who in any other place would be asking for alms will tell their tricks to live from the story; the commitment that Pilar Rahola appear a couple of hours a day on the screen, even if it is to present the weather (with the express prohibition that it appears in any cultural program, everything has a limit); a ‘Your face rings a bell’ where all the contestants, every week, must imitate Lluis Llach, either as a singer or as a profiteer of the regime. There will be no lack of ‘Who knows where’, in which we will find out where the companies that have abandoned Catalonia in recent years have ended up. And my firm promise to go as director to massage the Vivales in exile in person, whenever he demands it. All this carried out by external production companies, so that the friends of the regime continue to increase their current accounts.

For the reasons stated, please allow this request.


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