The Pope does not have mother in law. No Pontiff can have it, at least officially. Francis, like his 263 predecessors in office, speaks here by hearsay, indirectly, but that did not prevent that last Wednesday, in Saint Peter’s Square in Rome, during a catechesis dedicated to the elderly, will be placed in the role of consummate expert in this “mythical character & rdquor; (the expression is his own Jorge Mario Bergoglio) and explain to the congregation what mothers-in-law are like and how to treat them, distilling along the way high doses of machismo.
“I’m not saying we think mothers-in-law are the devil, but it is always said that they are bad & rdquor ;, pointed out the Pope, who asked to overcome the “common places between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law & rdquor; and at the same time plunged into them. Mothers-in-law, she said, “are also mothers, they are old, and one of the most beautiful things for grandmothers is to see their grandchildren. It is true that sometimes they are a bit special. At least make them happy, let them carry their old age with happiness & rdquor ;. Then she turned to the mothers-in-law. “To you I say: have be careful with your tongues. It’s one of the sins of the mothers-in-law, the language & rdquor ;, he assured.
There was everything. The mother-in-law as a divisive figure, difficult to deal with, dedicated to sow tares and compete with the daughter-in-law or son-in-law for the affection of children and grandchildren, an older woman who is seen by society as a “bad” being, almost “the devil”, but who is actually just “a little special”; , although he is never far from falling into “sin & rdquor; of his “tongue & rdquor ;. Of course, of the inlaws there was not no sign in the reflection of the Pontiff.
That It was not an improvised message, an informal conversation captured by a microphone. The Pope read all these words, which are linked to a thousand-year-old tradition, which goes from ‘Mother in law’comedy of the Roman author Terentius premiered in 165 before Christ, to cersei lanister, the most wicked of all the characters of ‘Game of thrones’passing by Endora, the witch mother of the old series ‘Bewitched’, always willing to cast spells on her son-in-law Darrin, a mere mortal.
A long way
“It is likely that the Pope’s statements are loaded with goodwill, but at the same time they are built from sexist stereotypes that presuppose the secular confrontation between women –argues Marisa Soleto, director of the Women Foundation-. The Church still has many problems with the role and position of women, both in society and within the institution itself. Although this Pope timidly tries to modify this absolute discrimination, gestures like this reveal the long road of interpretation that remains for the Church & rdquor ;.
But it is not only the Church. The sexist statements of public figures usually raise rejection, and more if they come from someone as well known as the Pope. On this occasion, however, there has hardly been any criticism on this side. Francisco’s words have basically served to widen the tradition of jokes and pranks on mothers-in-law, as long as or longer than the one with the brothers in law as protagonists.
With a important difference. While they have become one endearing figure, within their alleged ignorance and ability to wreck any meeting, they continue to be vilified. Maybe not without some reason. In one of the few works of this type, researchers from the University of Cambridge, in the United Kingdom, they studied hundreds of families from all over the world for decades. The 60% of women admitted that their relationship with their mother-in-law caused them stress and sadness.
very little has changed
A couple of years ago, two sociologists from the University of Maryland (USA), Geoffrey L. Grief Y Michael E. Woolley, published’Relations with the political family: mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, fathers-in-law and sons-in-law’. The work reflects important changes during the last century, because before most marriages took place within the same community and therefore the in-laws were much more present than now, but at the same time their authors are surprised at how little the roles of woman and man.
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In a much more casual, less academic way, skinny flower had arrived shortly before same conclusion. Enjuto, a journalist from Malaga, had a blog about her experiences as a motherand decided to open a section on mothers-in-law, in which the readers and she contributed personal stories. It was so successful that in 2015 it ended up becoming a book. humorously, ‘Mother-in-law there is only one’ (The sphere of books), makes a classification of this “mythical character & rdquor; and da tips about how to deal with him.
“The image of the mother-in-law competing with the daughter-in-law for the love of her son is very anachronistic, and probably the Pope has contributed to perpetuate it with his declarations. But it’s also true, and I say it as a feminist, that family structures are matriarchal and we are the ones who have the chores as a caregiver & rdquor ;, explains Enjuto, who being a mother has helped her better understand the possessive instinct of some mothers-in-law. “That after nine months of pregnancy, with heartburn and stretch marks, of dilating to unsuspected terms, of the intravaginal points, postpartum, sleepless nights, after-school activities, math lessons, the ‘tournée’ of regional dance and judo, that after all that, when they finally grow up, do they want to put you aside? he wonders, laughing. Come on, not crazy & rdquor ;.