Martine St-Victor: For the bereaved, this is a season of melancholy.

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Almost a year ago, I wrote a column about Olivier Royant, one of my closest friends. He had just died of cancer and the column was a tribute and something that I thought could help me cope with his death. It was not so.

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I wouldn’t be much better off writing that same column today. Regardless of how often people tell you that pain improves over time, that is completely untrue. Pain changes over time. You handle it differently. It is not necessarily better, not necessarily worse. You certainly don’t feel any less sad about your loss. But you learn to handle sadness in different and more bearable ways.

It is the beginning of December and the Christmas lights, along with the Christmas trees, are on. George Michael and Mariah Carey’s respective Christmas classics are back on the radio playlists. Eggnog recipes are being shared. It is the most wonderful time of the year, for some. For others, the holiday season is a cruel reminder that their loved ones are gone and that despite their best efforts to be happy, someone will be lost, something will feel wrong.

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I’ve been thinking about Olivier’s family and what his first vacation will be like since his death. The first year is usually the hardest. I have also been thinking of all the many other newly grieving families. They were often unable to fire the deceased due to COVID-19 restrictions, adding to frustration to the already difficult grieving process. For them, for many of us, December means that it is the season of melancholy.

On November 22, actor Andrew Garfield was a guest on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Having recently lost her mother, she offered this perspective: “I hope this pain stays with me because it’s all the unspoken love that I couldn’t tell her.” It took my breath away. I had never seen pain like that and it reconciled me to its heaviness. Now I understood that the weight we carry after someone dies is that of love.

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That excerpt from Garfield’s interview was shared hundreds of thousands of times on social media. The next day, many the media reported about it . It came as a reminder of both the universality of pain and the power of television. The response to Garfield’s honesty and willingness to open up was perhaps an indication of our need to find comfort and hear about what is too often only whispered, if anything.

Could pain be the last taboo? In recent years, we have witnessed the destigmatization of mental health, thanks to the collective efforts of society, from government programs to schools that include mental health in their curricula, from business initiatives like Bell’s Let’s Talk, to Influential personalities who share details about their struggles.

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Next year will mark the 30th anniversary of the implementation of World Mental Health Day on October 10. Its goal is to raise awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilize efforts in support of mental health. In recent years, the day has made its way onto non-medical calendars and companies have started to observe it, giving employees an opportunity to benefit from the day’s goals.

April 28 is National Mourning Day in Canada, a day to reflect on workplace safety. Perhaps it is time to extend the mandate of the day? And can the many efforts made over the years to normalize the importance of mental well-being be applied to dealing with loss?

Until we find out, I send courage to all the afflicted. The month of December is difficult, but eventually you will find ways to face it in different, more manageable and bearable ways. I promise.

Martine St-Victor is the CEO of Edelman Montreal and a media commentator. Instagram and Twitter: martinemontreal