• Messages that hold girls accountable to avoid potentially dangerous situations can generate guilt if they are assaulted

Experts in affective-sexual education empathize with the fear of many families that their daughters are victims of sexual assault, but they also underline that the messages that hold girls responsible for avoiding supposedly dangerous situations all they achieve is to blame them.

“If the girl suffers some kind of aggression, she will feel guilty and will become obsessed with the idea that she could have done something differently. Is even less likely to report because, by judging herself, she fears that the rest of society will point her out & rdquor ;, points out the sexologist Laura Marcilla.

Limited freedom

In addition, as paradoxically we focus on who suffers violence instead of on who exercises it, “it is the potential victims who see their freedom of movement, schedules and way of dressing limited, & rdquor ;, adds Marcilla.

Focus on rapists and not victims, experts warn

The psychopedagogue Mirta Lojo stresses that the problem is not in the person attacked and that it is convenient to banish the gaze focused on seeing what the girls’ parents should do. “That does not help empower women& rdquor ;, warns. “When there is a rape, they talk about the woman, where she was, what time it was or if she was naked or clothed, but the figure of the rapist is blurred & rdquor ;, continues Lojo.

In the same vein, the director of AFFAC (Federated Associations of Families of Students of Catalonia) Lidón Gasull, maintains that “It’s not about continuing to protect the girls & rdquor; but that the boys have “another reality in front of them to prevent them from being potential aggressors & rdquor ;.

Healthy children of the patriarchy

Despite all that remains to be done, at AFFAC they detect a positive change: “families have realized that it is necessary to act on boys and educate in new masculinities & rdquor ;, highlights Gasull.

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The way forward would be to work from the educational system, with the collaboration of the media, on public policies that reinforce freedom and not stereotypes that favor attacks. “We must put the accent on the structural, on how these rapists are built, who are not mindless, but the healthy children of the patriarchy & rdquor ;, sums up Lojo.


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