A third of French people would prefer to spend a week without sex rather than a week without a smartphone. This is in any case what emerges from a Bouygues-BETC study published recently.

So for many of us, the distance is more rewarding than the carnal connection to a partner. The smartphone is doing us a thousand services, we agree (on which model are you reading this column?)… And as the controversies surrounding the attention economy demonstrate, entertainment is one of them. To excess. And then let’s face it: there are often more twists and turns on our Twitter feed than in our sex life, more crispy confidences in our texts than on our pillow.

At the risk of breaking down an open door, boredom will undoubtedly have been the queen emotion of the fall-winter 2021 season. We are freezing. We are wading through the Covid-19 (less leisure, less contact, but also fewer daily challenges to overcome). To which is added our sexual boredom, which does not date from the pandemic, as the hearts of magazines have shown for decades.

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Of course, we are relatively used to this weariness. But we are not vaccinated against its side effects: “The propensity to be bored is linked to a lesser capacity to manage negative emotions: subjects prone to boredom indeed more easily feel feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration and anger” (review TheEncephalon, june 2020). With significant consequences on sexuality: greater aggressiveness, and addictive behavior, including paradoxically… hypersexuality.

To deceive boredom, the French deceive … their spouse

So let’s disentangle this story. When we are bored, our first instinct is to seek change. That is to say, in the case that interests us: change your vision of sexuality, or change practices, or change partners. This last solution is complicated by our social organization based on monogamy; 91% of French people are attached to the idea of ​​loyalty (Harris Interactive-Cetelem, 2020).

And yet! To deceive boredom, the French love to cheat… their spouse. Translation: they are going to trace the same scenario (in heterosexuals, the indecisive duet foreplay + penetration), but with the colleague or the neighbor below. The consequences (when you get caught) hurt: 58% of French women could leave their spouse for infidelity. Only … 54% could also leave it because of routine, and therefore boredom (Harris Interactive-Grazia, 2011). Perfect example of double bind, isn’t it?

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