Even Boris can’t get over this… can he? | Tom Peck

No comment from the disgraced prime minister so far, as he does not yet know which of his many misfortunes he has been disgraced for.

He knows he’s going to be fined for violating emergency laws he wrote, but despite insisting for months that he did nothing wrong, he still has to wait for the police to tell him exactly why they did it. because he knows there are too many incidents to choose from.

That’s the most laughable aspect, isn’t it, amidst the almost endless range of options? Has there been another political scandal in which the culprit, once found guilty, has to wait to find out precisely what he has been convicted of, among the vast array of options, all of which he continues to deny?

No, he hasn’t. And there’s never been one like it, either.

A government forced to enact the most draconian emergency laws in the country’s history, in a desperate attempt to stop the overwhelming loss of life. And then it is discovered that 50 people, at least, have been breaking them, inside Downing Street, including the Prime Minister and the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Perhaps it’s best to think of it as, say, a birthday cake. Making the laws and then breaking them, that’s a bit of a cakewalk. But then you have the intricate icing on the cake of lies that have been layered for months and months and months, each making everything more and more precarious.

There were no parties. There were parties, but I wasn’t at them. I was in them, but I didn’t know they were parties.

To that must now be added: There were parties, I broke the law by being at them, but I don’t know which ones.

The fact that Rishi Sunak and Carrie Johnson have also been fined suggests quite strongly that this latest tranche of fines is related to the impromptu birthday party in the cabinet room. In case your irony-o-meter doesn’t work, that’s the birthday party of the prime minister who broke the law that took place in the room where he made the laws.

There’s no reason to suspect there aren’t more fines coming, from the bring-your-own-drink party, Abba’s rave at his flat, the cheese and wine spread, or the eve of Prince Philip’s funeral (I think we’ll be leaving there for the sake of basic dignity). It cannot be ruled out that the prime minister will consider setting up a charitable trust so that donors will pay everything for him.

It does not mean that there are no winners. Rishi Sunak certainly has a lot to be happy about. Just 24 hours ago, he thought his political career was over for completely different reasons, so he would surely be relieved that he was over anyway, he just didn’t know it yet.

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There’s also Lulu Lytle. Even in the rarefied world of sky-high net worth individuals that Johnson and Johnson like to pretend they belong to, there can’t be many clients who pay $200,000 for a condo renovation, only to be kicked out of the place they’re in. two years?

Can gold wallpaper be recycled? I’m afraid the Google results on that one are not promising for the criminal couple. One doubts that Mrs. Lytle’s seven hundred pound a roll jobs are of the new, and increasingly popular, peel-and-stick variety, which are “popular with tenants who won’t be there for long.” So she will have to be hired again. She won’t she? Surely?

You can’t just chuck it off, can you? You can’t have a prime minister who broke the laws he made, can you? Well, at the time of writing, it really looks like you can. The Tory party are the only people who can get rid of him, and they don’t seem to have the appetite to do so at the moment. For a while, there has been concern that there is no one to replace him, and there definitely isn’t now.

It’s horrible to think that so many of them actually think that the guy who was found to have violated public health laws in the middle of a once-in-a-century pandemic is really the best they’ve got. It’s even more horrible to consider that they might be right.

All this has a price, doesn’t it? Well, it happens that elections are coming up, that’s when the price of things tends to become absolutely clear, especially for a party that clearly doesn’t know the value of anything, not even the basic dignity of the highest offices in the country.


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