Behind the door | Laura’s opening

The Press offers you each week a testimony which aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards. Today: Laura*, mid-fifties



Laura is an “open” girl. It always has been, today more than ever. Return to a journey of free life, as light as it is joyful.

It sounds too good to be true and she knows it. “My story is atypical,” immediately confides the smiling fifty-year-old, met last month in a pretty café in the north of the city. “It’s so crazy. And it’s rare! » But yes, she is “open”, as she says, and has been since she was very young, before openness was even a fashion or even a word. “I’ve had this in me forever!” »

Raised in a hippie family, she was 16 when she met her first lover, a five-year, sexually revealing teenage romance from which she even emerged with a child. “That’s when I discovered that I really liked sexuality. I loved everything! » Without limits: neither for her nor for him. As proof: “If he was eyeing a girlfriend, I told him: go for it! Go live your desire for connection! »

It was only recently that Laura discovered that this openness has a name: compersion.

It is a pleasure, a profound happiness to see others develop through people other than me!

Laura

When she becomes pregnant, she doesn’t hesitate for long. “I like to say yes to life,” she continues, with this lightness that will not leave her during the interview. So much so that some time later, while traveling, she meets another man, whom she describes here as her very first “great love”. The guy in question is “creative”, “it fit!” » She leaves the father of her child and together, they spend three memorable and close years. “It was remarkable,” she summarizes. There, I learn what connection is: not just sexual, but relational, the interests, the values, the whole being that makes you grow. In terms of creativity, someone who turns me on is powerful…”

Their passion is going well until they move in together. ” A mistake. It wasn’t even happy for a week. ” SO ? “I started seeing other men,” she continues. What if she cheats on him? “Cheating is not a word that exists in my vocabulary,” she kindly reminds us. He knew that if I had a spark, I grabbed it. » With both girls and guys, it should be noted.

It must be said that at the time, Laura was “in high demand”. “I really liked both girls and men. But I am more attracted to men,” she explains. All this to say that their story ends in cohabitation, and for all kinds of reasons, they end up leaving each other. “But we still love each other!” He really stood out. (…) But now, I’ve been with another guy for a really, really long time: my second great love! »

Before coming there, Laura takes a little “break” from relationships here and gets by. “I had a range of lovers,” she says, laughing. A harem! » All in “total transparency”, it goes without saying. She has lots of adventures, some “trippy” threesome experiences. “In discovery and exploration: let’s explore avenues together! “, she summarizes.

Late twenties, in road trip with a lover, Laura meets yet another man, in a youth hostel. It’s love at first sight “. “I fell in serious love,” she remembers. My God, he was beautiful. A former punk, artist, free, a bit of a freak, bad boy. I like it. » For his part, the gentleman also has plenty of lovers, he is obviously as “open” as she is. The “fit” is natural, really.

Can you guess what happens next? They haven’t let each other go since. It was almost 30 years ago. From the start, they made a “verbal contract”: “You have lovers, I have lovers, we don’t talk about it too much, out of respect for these relationships,” she says. Except that for me, by the way, if you tell me, it excites me! You would reap! »

When she finds out he’s with another woman, “it’s fun for him!” And that’s where the compersion comes in! she assures. Enjoy life! I have no rights to yours.”

Over time, and according to the vagaries of life, their “contract” evolves. “When we had children, I didn’t want him to party… without me anyway! », she illustrates with a laugh. Same when she was breastfeeding. Their secret: “lots, lots, lots of communication”.

That’s not all. As the children grew up, they reopened their “bubble”, resuming adventures here and there, through encounters and connections, together or separately. And then in recent years, their opening has really taken an accelerated turn. Or rather “exponential”.

We’re living our best life!

Laura

They have in fact integrated themselves into different circles, participate in various “workshops” of personal and relational growth type (on consent or tantrism, from the most chaste to the most naughty), their activities have in doing so exploded, in frequency, number, but also the diversity, marvels Laura. By these groups, “my boyfriend Frenches other guys,” she bursts out laughing. We met people of diversity, all of humanity in its colors, and all the labels fall away! »

Of note, in these particular “communities,” Laura finds that she and her husband are an anomaly. Long-term couples, with children, as open as them, no, there aren’t many of them.

However, today they are in love like never before. “And I’ve never had such good sex!” We break out of our habits, we explore other things in others, then we try together. And that, she says, means that it’s a never-ending story! That creates happiness. I even see myself as a little old lady with this same appetite! »

Of course, Laura knows: they are not safe from falling in love elsewhere. “My boyfriend says we’re never going to separate. (…) I’m not saying that: I’m capable of living with the idea that he will perhaps have a crush on someone else. (…) Afterwards, are we going to separate? Or integrate this person into our relationship? There are plenty of possibilities! », she said, with a decidedly naughty look.

* Fictitious first name, to preserve anonymity

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reference: www.lapresse.ca

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