ASK AMY: Two friends share an awkward movie moment

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Dear Amy: I am a recent college graduate, at home (for now), and looking for full-time work. I am looking to move to a new place, make new friends, and live my young adult life to the fullest.

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While looking for work and home, I spent the summer reconnecting with an old friend / love, “Toby.” Toby and I have been talking casually on and off for just over a year.

When we disagreed on what we were looking for in a romantic partner, we decided to remain friends, which I am proud of.

Toby is leaving the United States to attend graduate school abroad and I am sad to see him leave. While there is still some chemistry between us, I also hate seeing someone I care to move so far away.

Before your departure, we have been meeting for fun and informal activities.

Recently, I was invited to their home, where we sat and talked all night about our friendship, relationship, and individual goals for the future.

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In a moment of silence, seemingly out of a movie, we looked into each other’s eyes and Toby said very calmly, “I love you.”

I was speechless like never before. This wasn’t my goal for the night, and he says it wasn’t his either; He felt it in the moment and decided that he should let me know.

I am flattered, but feeling many things: adored, surprised and somewhat betrayed by our pact of friendship.

Any advice for this difficult situation?

– Really confused!

Dear confused: “Toby” will be leaving the country for the next few months. If there was ever a time to express your sincere love for someone, this would be it!

And, referring to their cinematic moment: isn’t that how Harry finally “met” Sally, by confessing a love that went beyond friendship?

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Is Toby expressing romantic love, friendship love, kinship love? It could be all three. Maybe it’s the somewhat greedy expression of a guy whose ship is about to sail.

Or maybe it is the declaration of the moment of truth of a person who is seeing his own life with some clarity and wants to be honest with you, before both begin new stages in their lives.

You have the next few months to contact Toby about this. He has been honest and you should be too.

Dear Amy: I recently stayed at an RV park in a suburban area.

The occupants of the house behind my RV have what I believe to be a daycare business.

One day I heard some yelling and, “Sit on the porch until I tell you to come in!”, Followed by a slam of the door.

Then, for the next four hours, I heard a child crying, moaning, and howling.

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It was terrible and painful to witness. I really didn’t know what to do.

At the fourth hour, I called the state Department of Children’s Services.

Shortly after that, they yelled at the boy some more and then carried him inside.

I didn’t hear anything else the rest of the day.

I left early the next morning, feeling that I had let this poor girl down, since then I have been racked with guilt. Should I have called the police?

Should I have gone and said something?

– ridden by guilt

Dear culprit: Recently, I was walking through the parking lot of the local mall and saw a dog whining and crying in a parked car.

I went directly to mall security and reported it. Several more people were there, reporting the same thing. The mutual concern for this defenseless animal was impressive.

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My point is that we should all exercise the same level of alarm and concern for children.

You did the right thing, but you could have made the call much earlier. I assume that once you explained the situation, the DCS operator would have told you if you should call the police.

Dear Amy: Thank you for correcting the terminology of “Not meant to be a mother” when you referred to an adopted baby as “any old baby”.

We adoptive parents understand that what he said is true: our adopted children are “real” and unique, and very much ours.

– happy father

Dear father: This woman mourned her own loss; I hope your recovery helps you understand the possibilities for adoption. But she just isn’t ready.