ASK AMY: Texting fights arise from interruptions

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Dear Amy: When my husband walks into the room and I’m on my phone texting or emailing, he expects me to stop right away.

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I think this is unreasonable, demanding and controlling.

I think you should be willing to wait until I finish the text message or email that had already started before I entered the room.

Waiting for me seems polite and I think it’s reasonable that I be allowed to finish what I’ve already started.

Or am I being unreasonable?

We are both retired. We are together most of the day, except when we can’t agree on which TV show to watch, and then we enjoy our shows separately.

Not that our time together is very limited!

Can you give me your opinion?

– exasperated

Dear exasperated: You cannot anticipate exactly when your husband will enter the room to attract attention when he does.

If you’re in the middle of sanding the floor, kneading bread dough, or talking to your mother on the phone, the person arriving on the scene should wait patiently until you’ve reached a staging point.

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You, in turn, must get to that point and acknowledge the other person’s presence.

Your husband may not think that his decision to end a thought when he is typing on his phone is the same as to end a thought or conversation when he is on the phone, and yet interrupting a person is just that: an interruption. .

The person interrupting should wait respectfully, and the other person should thank you for your patience.

Because I do most of my work writing (rather than speaking), I have reminded members of my household that if I am writing when they enter the room, it would be better if they gave my typing the same consideration as if had to. be talking on the phone when they entered.

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With that said, you should also use this habit of yours (and yours) to examine how often you can allow what is happening on your phone to interrupt others. When you are in conversation with your husband, do you automatically allow a text message to interrupt you?

Obviously, having a regular “workspace” in your home could help make some distinctions between you completing the desired correspondence and the home life you share.

Dear Amy: Please help resolve a discussion I have with my wife.

With the holidays fast approaching and big family meals on the horizon, I say it’s “okay” to arrive at these meals with our own containers for leftovers.

I feel that it is useful for the host, who would like to send food home with the guests.

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My wife thinks he’s inconsiderate.

What is your opinion?

– Looking for leftovers

Dear look: Greeting your host with your ready and ready Gladware is definitely a blunder.

Not all hosts want to send leftovers home with their guests.

Some may believe that enjoying a few days to spare after hosting a large dinner party with many guests is a huge benefit of being a host. (It’s hard to imagine voluntarily handing over the important leftover ingredients from the turkey sandwich.)

However, if you want to keep some containers in your car or in your purse, these can be very useful if the host decides to send the leftovers home.

I also wonder if a pack of new “to go” containers could make a good gift for the host, along with flowers, wine, or whatever dish you can contribute to the meal.

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Dear Amy: “Caring Mom” ​​was concerned about the 17-year age difference between her daughter and the man she was currently dating.

The mother described him as kind, intelligent, down-to-earth, and respectful.

This man sounds like my father!

My parents married in 1950 when my mother was 19 and my father 40. He was German and she was American. He was a Jew and she was a Protestant. Dad was very well educated and Mom had a high school diploma.

But did it matter? Not one iota!

My parents were extremely happy for 50 years until my father’s death in 2000. I think they were (if possible) more in love after 50 years than on their wedding day.

My two brothers and I grew up in a loving home and a happy, stable marriage.

If they end up being even a tenth happier than my parents, they will be a lucky couple indeed.

– Grateful

Dear grateful: A wonderful tribute.