ASK AMY: Family member wanted to Zoom to a wedding

Article content

Dear Amy: I live on the east coast. Most of my family members live on the west coast.

Article content

I recently received an email from my cousin’s daughter (we live in the same city), informing me that my 95-year-old aunt (her grandmother), who resides on the west coast, has COVID.

What hurt me about her email was the last line, which said she was leaving shortly for her honeymoon. He had no idea that he was married.

He knew she was engaged; this occurred the month before the pandemic began.

However, he knew nothing of their wedding (held on the west coast). My family never informed me.

They told me after the fact, and my West Coast cousins ​​let me know that they attended the wedding in person.

The lack of communication hurts me.

I let them know that it wasn’t about not being invited to the wedding; it was about not being told.

Article content

Last Thanksgiving, the daughter of another cousin (whom we see more often because they live closer together) had a “COVID” wedding. We all saw it through Zoom.

I told my family that a call from Zoom would have been nice if not all family members could have been invited.

Now I feel like I no longer have a family on the west coast.

Am I wrong to feel this way?

– distressed

Dear distressed: Your feelings are your feelings. They are neither bad nor good.

The essential question is do you want to feel this way?

Weddings can be extremely complicated social and family events, and sometimes couples who get married deliberately don’t invite people to their weddings because they don’t want them to feel pressured to go to the trouble and spend money to attend. It is possible that you fell into that category. Or the couple just limited their guest list and you missed the cut.

Article content

Or they were wrong.

The “Zoom wedding” has really opened up possibilities regarding various layers and tiers of wedding guests (thank you, pandemic), and I agree with you that viewing a wedding ceremony from the comfort of your own dining room has its traits. charms.

But some people don’t want to broadcast their weddings, and they have the right to host the wedding they want to have!

You are upset and hurt. You have expressed this.

You have taken your disappointment and magnified it into a flourishing detachment. That is an extremely unfortunate choice and I urge you to reconsider.

He has an elderly and sick aunt on the West Coast. She deserves more of your real and emotional attention than this wedding snub.

Dear Amy: My 17-year-old grandson comes to visit us once a year (we live on opposite coasts).

Article content

You’ve always brought your faded, worn-out baby blanket (measuring about 3 square feet) and your favorite, worn-out stuffed animal.

It was cute when I was younger, now it’s downright embarrassing.

He makes his bed and carefully folds his blanket over the pillow along with the stuffed animal.

He’s going to college next year. I fear that if he appears in his bedroom he will be ridiculed forever.

I have not told my son about this. It’s none of my business?

– Great embarrassed

Dear embarrassed: Expect. Does this 17-year-old make his bed? Please send him to my house!

What makes you ashamed of his loving behavior? The fact that he brings his dearest and most comforting friends with him, and that he treats their possessions, and yours, with such respect? In my opinion, you should be honored.

Article content

Please. He’s fine. You will not be the only young person who will bring objects of comfort on the journey of a lifetime. Let it roll. It’s definitely none of your business.

Dear Amy: I’m responding to the “Empty Nest” writer who enjoys hosting international students on vacation. College students from out of the writer’s state are opposed to returning to a house full of strangers.

I am 100% on the side of the children. Coming home from college for a visit should be a full respite from hanging out with parents, relaxing in your old rooms, and not having to be “turned on” by a group of strangers. These parents must feel lucky that their children want to be with them.

Yes, it is great and admirable to help others … but not at the expense of your own children. Empty Nest should host international students, but not during the holidays when the kids are at home.

– Devoted mom

Dear Mama: Many readers agree with you.