Saturday, July 24

ASK AMY: Mother wonders if her daughter is too happy

Article content

Dear Amy: My 31-year-old daughter is “happy with her size.” She doesn’t seem to mind that she weighs almost 300 pounds and is 5 feet 5 inches tall, until she has a mood swing and then she gets mad at me because I’m not as big as her.


Article content

I never bring up the subject, never.

I don’t know what to say and I have to be very careful when broaching the subject. Other than that, we get along well.

I am concerned that his health is at risk, but I dare not say a word about his overweight.

All (or most) of his friends are also very big.

It bothers him that it is smaller. I don’t know what to do or what to say.

– At a Loss (for words)

Dear At a Loss: If you never discuss weight with your daughter, it is not clear how you know that she is so resentful of you.

She is an adult and is free to make unhealthy choices, just like you are. What she can’t do is blame you or embarrass you. The same goes for you, by the way.

The National Blood and Lung Institute of the National Institutes of Health states the following: “Obesity is a serious medical condition that can cause complications such as metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, atherosclerosis, heart disease, diabetes, high blood cholesterol, cancers. and sleep disorders.


Article content

According to the CDC: From 1999 to 2018, the prevalence of obesity in the US increased from 30.5 percent to 42.4 percent. During the same time, the prevalence of severe obesity increased from 4.7 percent to 9.2 percent.

However, despite the risk factors for obesity, according to both sources, it is possible to be obese and be healthy.

He conveys that he would somehow feel better if his daughter felt worse, that he might actually be happier if she was not happy. She is your daughter. How would your unhappiness serve either of you?

My perspective is that unhappiness does not help a person lose weight; in fact, I think the opposite is true. Happiness is generally good for your health.

A person needs to tap into a reserve of strength and self-esteem to embark on a health journey.


Article content

You are not responsible for your daughter’s mood swings, nor should you let her manipulate you. Encourage her to get regular checkups.

Dear Amy: My 25 year old stepdaughter is an absolute dream. Charming, intelligent and thoughtful. You work full time on your first professional job.

He has a habit that I’m not sure of. When she is upset, she cries so hard that she can become hysterical. You will then seek comfort, and once you receive it, you will recover quickly and well.

This is not something that happens often, but I wonder if this is how an adult should process their feelings.

– I’m not sure

Dear insecure: Whether this is how an adult should process their feelings is almost irrelevant; this is how your stepdaughter processes your feelings. I suspect that she does this primarily (or only) with family members.


Article content

My take is that as long as she doesn’t create or extend the drama beyond her limited lifespan, and as long as she makes a full recovery, you should accept this as an emotional outbreak that she will likely learn to modulate as it continues. mature.

Many of us have had embarrassing bouts of crying at work. Hopefully he is saved from this experience.

Dear Amy: “Desperate” was the grandmother of two very troubled teenage grandchildren and a grandson who appeared to be stable.

Desperate’s daughter was pressuring her to take one of these teenagers over the summer.

Her suggestion to Grandma that her only DON’T disapprove grandson stay with her for a while was spot on.

That teenager would do well to steer clear of the drama at home.


Article content

I was 17 when my brother died.

My parents were consumed with grief that summer and our home life was a mess.

He was already a temperamental teenager and did not need to deal with a crisis day after day.

I am eternally grateful to a woman who offered me a summer job babysitting with her children.

I needed to get away from home as much as possible.

I will always be grateful to that lady. Her now grown children still remember the fun we had that summer.

It was a bright spot in an otherwise miserable situation.

– Grateful

Dear grateful: This is a profound tribute to the healing power offered by the duties and distractions of caring for children.



Postmedia is committed to maintaining a lively but civilized discussion forum and encourages all readers to share their views on our articles. Comments can take up to an hour to moderate before appearing on the site. We ask that you keep your comments relevant and respectful. We have enabled email notifications – you will now receive an email if you receive a response to your comment, there is an update from a comment thread you follow, or if a user you follow comments. Visit our Community Principles for more information and details on how to adjust your E-mail settings.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *