Friday, January 22

COVID: the Ti-Joe Connaissant festival


Everyone has their opinion on the best way to contain the pandemic.

Everybody.

Me, you, matante, my uncle.

And the pimply nephew who firmly believes that LCN is a den of reptilians, because LCN stands for The Crocodile of the North.

THE KNOWING TI-JOE FESTIVAL

In the long run, this hubbub becomes cacophonous.

We no longer know which way to turn.

For every study that says Black, there is a study that says White.

There is always someone, somewhere (Claude Villeneuve calls them “the Gerry Rochons of the pandemic”, named after the guy who knew all but all of the hockey statistics) who will say: “Yes, but in Botswana. .. Yes, but in Kyrgyzstan … Yes, but in Saint Vincent and the Grenadines … “

Without forgetting South Sudan. There is no curfew in South Sudan! There is no containment in South Sudan!

You can walk your camel whenever you want in South Sudan!

I did not know that there were so many experts in epidemiology in Quebec. It’s crazy !

You kick a trash can, and there are ten coming out …

With charts full of curves in the hands.

GOOD DOCTOR WELBY

I don’t know about you, but me, my brain is clogged.

Like the Maisonneuve-Rosemont Hospital.

So I decided to establish an advanced sorting protocol.

I only listen to one group: health workers. Those who are in the field.

The others, I pull the plogue.

Between my neighbor who sells lawnmowers and Doctor Marquis, I choose Doctor Marquis.

Yep, I’m crazy too. I tell myself that Doctor Marquis knows what he’s talking about. If he says that the health care system is on the verge of breaking down, I imagine that it is not to make himself interesting with his neighbor. Or to have votes.

Moreover, the more I see him, the more he is surrounded. It worries me. He doesn’t even have to open his mouth anymore, you just make him look in his eyes and you know if the situation is improving or not.

“Oh my God, Sophie, have you seen Doctor Marquis?” Take out the bottle of gin, I think I’m going to need it … “

There is Doctor Marquis, but also the others: Doctor Weiss, Doctor Simon, Doctor Sheppard …

I feel like I know them. They are my new best friends. I have my first coffee with them, and my last night cap.

Barely if they don’t come tuck me in.

THE REAL DEAL

All this to tell you that my lighthouses, now, are those that work in the field.

They see the damage caused by the virus. The damage caused by our releases.

I tell myself that if we use them as lighthouses, as guides, we can’t go wrong.

The virus, for them, is not an abstraction. It’s a reality. They rub shoulders with him. Day after day after day.

Who do you think knows hockey better?

Your card-collecting brother-in-law who makes mini Stanley Cups with Swiss wrap wrappers, or Guy Lafleur?


www.journaldemontreal.com

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