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Jason Isaacs is tackling his battle against addiction.
Isaacs, who played Lucius Malfoy in the “Harry Potter” movies, says The big problem in a letter to my younger self: “I always had an addictive personality and at 16 I had already drunk and started a decades-long love story with drugs.
“Every action was filtered through a burning need that had to be as far away from a conscious, thinking and sensitive person as possible. No message would come for almost 20 years. “
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It details the first time he got drunk at age 12.
“The bartender, who at the time we thought was a hero and now I realize he belonged to the prison, a bottle full of Southern Comfort escaped us,” shares the star. “We drank everything in the bathroom, then we stumbled out to the party, reeling wildly. I threw up, fell and pulled down a giant curtain, kissed a girl, God bless her … I ran out into the street, vomited again, stumbled, broke my head on the pavement and spilled blood on my clothes.
“The next morning, I woke up with a severe headache, which reeked of vomiting with a large scab and the memory of being completely embarrassed. All I could think of was … I can’t wait to do it again. Why? I have no idea. Genes? Nourish? Star sign? I only know that I chased the sheer ecstatic joy I felt that night for another 20 years with increasingly dire consequences. “
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Isaacs continues: “I think what would surprise me, 16, is that I am fine. That I managed to find simple happiness in simple things. Not always, not perfectly, but enough.
“I thought it was broken. I remember there was a moment, not long before I cleaned up, when it suddenly occurred to me that if everyone I knew died, literally every person, I probably wouldn’t care that much. In fact, I would like to, because then it would be an excuse to sit alone in a room and take drugs and everyone else would say: Well, you know, fair, you heard what happened, right?“